Update in which I freak out and go all suicidal.

Things have been... busy here... kinda hectic kinda not.

I just don't know. Mreh I don't really care anymore either.

I think I lost it... Taben, Ry and Allen went to Taben's parent's place yestrday for SuperBowl fuckery and stuff. I was invited but... after all the shit I just wanted to stay home. I noticed Mr. No Face looking in the window at me and... I think I kinda lost it...

I went out side and found him and just started screaming at him. Scremng if he wants me to just fucking take me, that my life is fucking falling apart. I don't want to deal with it and to just make it easier on me by just removing me from everything. He just stared at me. So I went up... and kicked him. ::he looked at his leg and looked at me. He wasn't angry, I didn't feel any anger from him. No... Ithink he was more.... sorry? I felt... pity from him. And.. I lost it... and tried to beat the shit out of Slender Man. like, all out beat the shit out of him. picked up a stick had a go at him punched, kicked, bit (omg that taste... never wanna taste that again...) just everything in the book that was within my reach I just started at him with. rocks and snow balls included. When I was tiered I just fell to the ground crying. I think that's what I needed. After all this shit I just needed a chance to break down that I didn't get.

You know what happened then? He picked me up and brough me inside pat my head and left. The bastard's been able to cross our protections this whole time... this whole fucking time. I dunno if he was 'respecting' our boundaries or what. But he can cross them. He brough me inside. put me on the couch and left. Well kinda. he went back outside and just stood there and watched like he always does. He was curious, confused and... worried?

I'm so fucking confused right now... so damned confused...

I haven't told Taben or Ryan any of this. I think Taben's happy to believe that Slendy's not wanting to cross barriers. I'm just.. really confused... Dos this mean he's not malicious? Does this mean the barriers don't work? What the fuck does this mean? Meh... I need to go. I gotta pick up Brennon from the airport soon. I guess he changed his ticket to do an overnight flight home cause of some fuckery with tickets for the game.

Bran, I saw your comment on his blog, and we'll let you know what's going on when we're ready. I haven't even told Taben and Ryan yet. It's just.. a lot of fuckery. I have no clue what to make of it or how to react. After my freakout lastnight I just feel... blank... and numb. And confused of course.

So.. is Slendy my friend or my enemy? I don't know what to make of him.

I want him to be my friend though. That'd be cool.

Good morning everyone...

Really, I should be sleeping still since our morning classes were canceled, but... here's the reason I'm not. The Schools around here are close. This equals to a very excited 7 year old being up and running around the house. I feel sorry for Taben, I hear him trying to keep the kiddo quite, and it works, for about fice minutes. Ah, the wonders of an autistic child that has no idea or means of understanding how the word around him works. I'm glad that we're all understanding individuals here, and that Ryan can sleep through anything and everything.

Speaking of, I have a really funny story for you. To put it simply, I think Ryan believes us now. The long part of the story? Is why I was up at 3am yrsterday morning and unable to get back to sleep and was so horribly tiered all day. So I'm sleeping, quite nicely. I've not slept as well as I did yesterday in a long time. Then there was this high pitched girly scream. I thought it was Taben. Brennon and I both wake up and scramble out of bed to make sure everything's alright. We're scared to death thinking it's th eend of the line. Slendy's taken Allen and we're all next. So we barge into Allen's room Allen's asleep. No the sound's coming form the next room over. We barge into Taben and Ry's room. This is where the funny part happens. Ry's standing on the bed squealing and screaming and pointing at the window. Taben's yelling at Ryan to lay the fuck down and give him the blankets back. In the midst of all this. Slendy's standing there looking in the window. I swear to god He's amused as he's just watching all the chaos he's just brought to our house at this early hour of the morning. Taben finally pulls Ry down on the bed and he kisses him. It works.... weird but it works. Ry's calm. I've never seen anything like this in my life. No, seriously. Any other case Taben would be the one spazzing out while Ry's trying to calm him down. Or Taben would be spazzing as well. No, none of that. None of that at all. Taben's completely calm and managed to calm Ry down. Ry is now extremely guilt ridden and clinging to Taben. Taben grumbles and tries to convince him to go back to bed. We all try to go back to bed. An hour later all of us, minus Allen, are gathered downstairs at the kitchen table convinced we aren't getting back to sleep. Taben's started on breakfast and we just started discussing the events and what not. The whole time Slendy is now at the back door watching us.

So yeah, Ry believes us now... though this brings up another question. Can Slendy grow? I was under the impression that he could only make his arms grow. Or maybe he was standing on hiis arms at this time? See,the bedrooms are all on the second floor. Though, now that I think about it there are a lot of cases where people are stumped because he's looking into a second floor window... and then the next moment he's standing right outside our door just looking like an extremley tall, faceless, gentleman. Is he a gentleman though? Is he? There are so many stories of him stalking people, driving them crazy, causing them to commit suicide or just ripping their guts out. But this Slendy seems curious, interested. He seems to protect Allen, he seems to be interested in who we are and what we do. When Taben was beating the crap out of him he could have easily turned on Taben and killed him right there, but no he simple moved Taben from him. The only wounds Taben recieved were the ones that he had inflicted on Slendy, and even then they were only bruises and there weren't many of them.

Maybe I'm entering risky territory here by doing this... but... maybe this is a chance for me to just kind of... study Him and get to know Him, see how He works. Figure Him out. Yeah, maybe it's a suicidal mission but I'm curious. I mean how many others have actually done this? I know people have studied him and experimented from afar, but not up close. Other than Sandra, I know of no one else that is this close to Him and still alive. And yet here we are, five of us living togetehr in this house and we're all find and dandy. I mean, seriously? What give? I'm greatful to be allowed to live but what makes me and everyone else here so different? The fact we're not completely scared? The fact that Allen's attatched to us? I'm also curious to see what will happen when Slendy meets Rizzy and Matt. Will he attack or hurt them? Will he leave them alone? I'm kinda worried and at the same time curious.... and I feel extremely fuckin' guilty for feeling that way.

Oh yeah, I want to beat Taben oo. apparently he's infected Rizzy and her mom. And he's proud of himself. I want to beat him for being proud, but that'd be too easy. I want to push him outside and feed him to Slendy. Dunno what Slendy would do, but yeah as far as I can tell, Slendy's still not happy with him for the way Taben beat him.

My brain just derailed and I forget anything else I might have wanted to say. So I'm gonna stop this here. Will be an intereting day with a kiddo off. Maybe I'll skip my class since my morning class was canceled and I really dun wanna go in just for one class. That's a waste of gas D:

Let me tell you...

About my wonderfully eventful evening! I have time to kill before we leave for classes so I'm just going to sit here and tell you about the AWESOME that happened lastnight.

And by AWESOME I mean of course NOT SO AWESOME!

So we got home from our last load of boxes for moving. Brenno had come and helped us. He showed up and was obviously really upset but didn't want to talk about it. So we load up the vehicles and bring the loads back. At this time Taben announces he and Ry are gonna go get food. It's decided Pizza. And so we can save a buck he's gonna go pick it up. Gotta love Pizza Pan. Buy one pizza get two free with pick up. So Ry and Taben call, order and leav to go get the food stuff.

In the meantime, Allen asks to go outside. I decide what the hell, help the kid into his snow gear and go sit on the back porch and let him have at it. he starts making a snowman and i tell him to stay there i have to pee. So I go to do this. This is where the AWESOME turns into NOT SO AWESOME! I go and empty my bladder and then return. Allen's missing. I look around and see littel foot prints leadng off to the woods. Oh, did I tell you? We have a large woods in the back yard. This is perfect.... NOT! I spazzed. I fucking spazzed I got Brenno and screamed that He had taken Allen. Brennon goes and gets his stuff and we grab a flashlight (it's starting to get dark and all; damned winter darkness). We get ready and come down off the porch and there He is. WITH Allen. He's got Allen by the hand and is walking him down the path and out of the woods. Allen is a bit sullen like he's upset or you know that look that a kid has on his face when he's caught being bad? He gets this pouty face and looks up at Slendy. Slendy looked back at him and pushed him towards us. Allen fussed, he wanted to play in the woods. He shook his head no and pointed at us. (By the way it's REALLY fucking creepy seeing those long arms and that pale hand pointing at you) Allen obdiently came over to me and just started crying saying ":I'm sorry I'm sorry I want to see the woods" I look at Slendy. He just looks back at me. I'm fucking confused. Confused as fuck. He tilted his head to the side looking at me. I swear I pissed my pants. That's the freakiest fucking thing ever. I guess it's cause in the movies they worked it out to coincide with the whole "Imma gonna kill you thing" But I dunno. I didn't get that from him. It was more... curious? I looked back to Brenno. I'd never seen him so pale or with such a blank expression. (I think he believes us now Bran). He seemed to start and I looked back. Slendy was right fucking thre. I was a bit startled and just looked up at the giant. He looked back at me. Then Taben burst through the back door screaming his head off. Slendy looked at Taben then turned to start leaving. Pretty quickly. I dunno why. Taben took off after Slendy, he jumped on Slendy and started punching the crap out of him. Then those tentacle things... those fucking tentacle things are pretty creepy, this was the first time i saw them. They just kinda snaked themelves out grabbed Taben, picked him off of him and dropped him to the ground. Then Slendy turned around and walked into the woods.

Taben's alright. He's bruised to fuckig hell and back, it's like everywhere he punched Slendy, he himself became bruised. Gotta love what a mother bear does for it's young. Though really. I don't think Slendy wants to hurt Allen. I don't even know to be honest. I'm still trying to figure this shit out.

What the fuck is going on? Slendy takes kids, right? Is he 'hallowing' out Allen? Allen doesn't even seem fazed like a hallowed would be though. I want to belive that Slendy's being a bastard and trying to use Allen against us.... But there's just... something deep in me that says that's not the case. He seemed more curious and... and friendly than anything... which is kinda... weird... I mean after everything I've heard and read and all. I don't even know what to make of this junk. I'm so confused.

Anyways need to get my ass moving. Taben needs me to drive, his ankle's acting upfrom when he got dropped. And, well he's brued and beaten to hell. I guess it serves him right. Hell he got me into this whole Slender Man shit. Sometimes I hate him for it, really. But yeah he knows how Slendy works. Why try and beat the crap out of Him? Then again. A mom's gonna do anything they can for thier kid. I just wish I could explain that Slendy likely saved Allen's life. Allen could have gotten lost in those woods, all a lone.

Dude, I'm supposed to fuckin' hate Slender Man, right? Why the fuck am I feeling this way? I'm feeling greatful towards the dum fuck?! God dammit...

I'm out. See ya all later...