Saturday, June 18, 2011

Holy shit...

It is good to be back. We got back late last night, like around midnight or later. I wasn't paying attention to time. We had a nice full house now. The way I like it. As people may or may not know, we have Todd back +1. We've got Chastin here. Malkin verified it was him by checking in on where he was still passed out. And we also have a couple extra felines here. Taben gets this pitifully sad face when it comes to rescuing animals that is so VERY hard to ignore. It's good to be home. It was nice to sleep cuddled up with Brenno last night. It was nice to wake up this morning to Allen's excited screaming upon seeing Taben was home. It's just been... nice. I saw Todd and just gave him a huge hug. I was so relieved ans happy to see him. To know *him* the person behind the mask. I think he was kind of taken back by it but I don't give a damn! It's good to be home in familiar territory. And holy fuck it's good to smell Taben's home cooking coming from the kitchen in the morning!

I just hope, and am honestly worried, that in the mess of all this, we don't forget how important it is to keep our eyes open. Slender's pissed as can be right now. I wish I knew why he was so lenient with me. Why he gave in to me. But at the same time I'm glad that I didn't have to get angry and let that... other part of me show. I could feel it coming to the surface in times when I get angry. It scares me. I hate this. I hate that I'm this dual person and find myself afraid at times. I want to just forget about it and be happy. Be me. Be alive. So.. for the time being. I'm going to be happy and alive. And try to stop the fight within myself of who I really am. I'm not really sure I'm ready for that answer.

Anyways, I'm going to go chow, that food smells delish! Taben is the best damned cook ever and I am going to guess he's celebrating being home. Everyone stay safe and keep your eyes open. Talk to you later!

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