Saturday, April 30, 2011

Wedding Day.

Having an enjoyable time with friends, old and new today. Bran's crew just arrived (we had thought they'd be here yesterday, we were wrong, my bad). And we're just hanging out.

Wedding ceremony will be held at 8:21pm. Sunset. As per tradition with Pagan ceremonies. We got everything fixed up set up yesterday. got some torches and lights. Brennon's mom made our clothes for us. Very nice renissaunce syle tunics and pants. Brennon's sword ahas been polished up. It's been determined he'd take the place f the man in the ceremony. I'm not even nstulted by it. After a long bit of consideration we decided against the hand fastening ceremony and moving right to the marriage cremony. It's not likely that Ohio will allow civil unions of any time in the next year anyways. Hell, we don't even know if we'll be alive in a year. If we are, then we're lucky. But at least we'll have this. I'll be leaving shortly with Taben and Bran. Need to pick up the ring I ordered for Brennon to exchange and have blessed during the ceremony. Brennon will be going as well and taking Sam and Dean. We just heard back yesterday about Sam's name change. It's moved a lot fster than we expected it to. They're expecting her to have her new name finalized by the end of next month. Then it's just social security papers and the like so we can get that all changed.

I guess I'll pause here and go enjoy the company and all. ice to have everything together. Frap, if you see this and are going to make it just send me an e-mail my way and we'll come get ya. Just keep in mine we'll be here and awating start of wedding a ~8pm and stuff.

Hop some of our lastminute guests will be able to make it. The more the merrier. It'll be nice to have something to really celebrate.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Hard Blow....

Just before the wedding... we're waiting on people to start arriving in the next couple hours. I believe Bran and Co is coming up. There... is a possibility? that Frap is coming. We'll all be together and safe.

But.... how? How are we supposed to be happy?

If you haven't seen it yet.... Reach/ Ray.... is dead. Sacrificed himself for his lover and his child.

He's... going to be missed. I held some respect for him. To... to see him dead? To hear of his death? I don't even know how to take it.

I told Brennon. He's left he said we're going to celebrate his life tonight. I don't know what he meant by that but ok. HE just.. got in the car and left.... Brennon did I mean. It's just... I dunno. I guess it's that he's one of us. One of the runners/whatever you wanna call us... is gone.

How much longer will the rest of us be safe?

I hate to admit it, but... maybe Zerosage is onto something.  If we're all dead and there's no one to carry on Slendy's story, then He's dead, right? We'll have defeated Him. And It as well, yes? So... we'd all be safe. right? I.. I don't even. This is too much. Just... too much.

I'm gonna go wait for our arrivals.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Stick

Ygg's recent post (by the way welcome back, man)made me think back to those infamous videos of Taben trekking through the woods I keep talking about but never get to post.

There's a reasoning behind this. Our YouTube account will not allow us to post more than 15 minutes of video. One video is 18minutes, the other is 30minutes. We're going to see about talking to Ry to use the company YouTube account and set these vids to private but.. really we're uncertain of that. Tabne doesn't want this part of his life to overlap his joib, and he doesn't want to seem like he's trying to advertise his video project and all. So. Yeah. I'm gonna look for a video editing software and see about finding a way to split the videos or something. I dunno how that'll work though. I'm not a video person. I'm an artist. I work with paints and papers and stuff.

Anyways. Bellow are two video caps of a stick Taben found. As I stated in Ygg's post. I asked him if this was his stick. I also mentioned how this tree just enthralled me. I loved this tree. I want to see this tree. But even more....? I want that stick. I want the stick. I want it in my possession. It is mine. And I want it. when we got Taben back from the woods and he told me about the stick and showed me the video, I was livid that he had dropped the stick when It started chasing him. I was livid angry pissed. I want that stick.

Anyways. screen caps till I can upload the video.


 I'll go into the woods with Taben this weekend... likely Sunday... or maybe Monday, and retrieve my stick.

Tomorrow is a day of resting. Saturday I'm getting married! <3 <3

Sunday spending time with friends and celebrating. next week is rest and exam cramming. Thursday is Exams. Friday Brennon and I leave for a couple weeks for our honeymoon. We're still working out where we were wanting to go. Honestly, we were originally looking at Japan... but.. well yeah. We're thinking maybe somewhere in the UK. Still uncertain.

Oh and another note worthy thing to mention. Today in Art History, for whatever reason. Taben decided it was an awesome idea to draw na Operator symbol on the white board. Why he thouht it was a good idea I have no idea. I highly disproved. We always get there super early and are first in the room. I admit seeing the raction of other kids as they came in and looking at it and hte uncomfortable whispers or whipping out laptops to look it up or something was... amusing. That all went away when the preofessor came in and saw it. She's the nicest person. She's quiet soft spoken. She won't even yell at the loud ass bastards that are in the room when they're being.. well loud. She sees the board puts her stuff down. Double takes and stares at it with this look of... I dunno how to describe it. She visibly pales then just yells "What the hell is this shit?! Why is someone putting that damned thing on this damned board?! What the hell?!" She then angrily wrases the mark and is all flustered and growls and yells at everyone to be quiet. It was a very... uncomfortable lecture afterards. At least it was the last one. But yeah. We had never seen her that bad. Now looking bakc though... She's veen seeminglyg incredibly tiered the last few weeks. She's looked dishevled and then Tuesday she started a lecture about the black forests..... and how they relate to Slender Man. And then how they don't. Taben and I kinda looked knowingly at each other.

I think out instructo's being stalked. Tabne and I have decided, after the exam next Thursday we're going to ask to talk to her and speak to her on this. I'm nervous but.. yeah. If we can help her, we're going to help her.

Oh I guess there is one more thing to bring up. Matty. Matty lives in Georgia. Just about a mile if that, from Ringgold. Matty is alright but Taben has been spazzing about it all day. I was just informed Matty has electric three days ahead of the chedule they gave him and is fine. A lot of people he worked with were affected by this. Taben worries about him and wants to go down and see him and what not. So there's a likely hood both of us may drop off the face of the planet as we go on mini vacations. I've never seen Taben this spazzy over something. At least Matty's alright. Unfortunately it means he won't be able to come up here. Some reason the place he works for is using this as a chance to give them super overtime? I dunno. Seems shady whatever. We'll miss you visiting and being here for the wedding matty.

And omg.... I just realized.

I'm getting married Saturday... OMG! Not commitment! (just kiding of course)

Sweet Jegus....

Is it really time for the hostile computer take over?

I've only been busy with final projects for three days and all hells break loose?

Holy shit. And I have to go. I just needed to take time and randomly curse so you all know I'm alive and for the most part well.

I repeat...

Sweet Jegus...This will learn me I suppose...

Monday, April 25, 2011

I don't even know where to begin.

Oh, my good fucking Gods!
I'm not happy with Todd and Bran. I'm not pissed either. I'm worried. Worried to bits and pieces....

And.... worried about Taben...
I... sent him down lastnight...
He's missing. He never came back.
I'm pissed at myself more than anything at this point. Pissed. Pissed pissed pissed.

I really need to get a fucking grip on myself and my emotions. I'm gonna end up getting everyone killed at this rate. Ugh I was hoping for the week before my wedding to be drama free. Fuck this bull. Fuck it to hells and back.

Remeber guys. You're safe up here... Always will be safe here.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Birthday Part: The Sequel!

Well... just thought people would like an update. No odd events thankfully. The only drama that nearly cropped up was when another family wanted to steal the pavilion we had RENTED (ie paid for) wanted to steal it from under us. But it didn't happen. Park Ranger showed up and chased the other group off. Then people started showing up for our party and Allen had a blast and Taben felt better. I'm still pissed that Brennon had to work and missed it. and Sam and Dean stayed home to work on reports and catch up work and stuff. It was nice though.

We came home and We started assembling Allen's loot. He got some legos (Allen's favored) which he's working on putting together, and then we got him two Beys and an arena for battling in. Yeah, look what Ygg got started. We'll blame him fully and completely. I'm still laughing maniacally that  Taben cut himself on one of them as he was putting them together. And then cut himself AGAIN when he grabbed one WHILE it was spinning. He's still cursing silently at me for laughing. I mean c'mon man, there's some metal part and sharp parts on these. They are called BeyBLADEs after all :p Oh and we may have a new recruit for battling. One of Allen's little classmates that came. Her brothers have a good collection. She told them when they picked her up and they started talking to us about meeting up to battle. That... that would be awesome :3

So we came home, and now Taben's boiling eggs for coloring and decorating. Allen's playing with his Lego space ship. I'm here waiting for Brennon to get home. He apparently has a late night tonight. We have plans to go out and try and finish up wedding plans. We were very pleased with the caterers we had for the Summerland ceremony for my parents. We'll have them here for the wedding. Brennon's mom's likely going to wed us. We need to meet up with them to go over the ceremony we wanna do. I guess we'll see. We may go over there tomorrow, since Taben and Ry will be going over to Taben's parent's place. In the morning Taben and I will be going to a bird walk where we can bird nerd and take a hike together. It'll be lovely I'm sure. I like getting out into nature with him. It's relaxing and a great way to spend time with him.

I guess I'll leave that like that for now. We're still debating with the videos. Taben is just... well I've not seen him this scared and paranoid since before they moved in with us when Slendy first started stalking him. Now ///It/// has tried to kill him so there's a whole new level of paranoid. Getting out and being around nature and people usually helps. So. With luck it'll help to do that with him tomorrow before he has to go endure his parents tomorrow. And his other blood family. Not that his ma and da aren't nice... they're.. decent people. Easy to get along with. But... well I'll let him tell it his way.

So.. yeah. Egg decorating time. I'll get an update in when I get a chance to. :3

Birthday Party

Today is Allen's Birthday part.

We're having it at the park under a shelter.

We'd have had it here, but with eldritch abombinations creeping around we figured it would be best not to. Especially since they seem to have a taste for kids.

It's fun really. Trying to pretend that we have nothing goin on and we're just normal people.

I like living like a normal person. And not as someone that's likely going insane because he feels he has a few Paranormal abilities and his parents weren't killed by some monstrous murderous nightmare. And He's not become guardian over his younger siblings and hasn't been through hell.

At least life is good? I've got a loving husband. (well officially husband next weekend). I've got wonderful friends. It's just, amazing what I have in life. I don't think I could be any happier.

Unless maybe my parents were still alive and I wasn't going through some sort of my own personal hell.

Well, I'm off. Taben's cake idea flopped (like literall it fell off the armature and onto the floor) so we need to plot and plan a cake, we'll prolly just end up going to the store and getting one there. He an do it next year, right?

....I hope there is a next year for us....

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Yay for Laptops

And for me remembering to bring mine today.

I know we've not been posting much lately and I do apologize for that. We've been busy gearing up for Allen's birthday party which is this Saturday. I'm still just hoping and praying that we somehow luck out and have no... 'incidents' at it. We rented a shelter at the park. There's going to be a dozen or so kids. It'll be fun... but I hope all the children doesn't lure you know who to the site. The last thing we need is to have Allen's birthdya ruinf because It rears its ugly head.

At the same time, Allen keeps asking if his friend Slender Man will be there. I don't know how to bring this up to him and explain it wouldn't be a good idea. When we try and say anything he throws a raging fit. He wants Slendy there. We parental figures do not really want Slendy there. Imagine all the children there. It'd be like a buffet. ...Gods am I ever fucking morbid.... I can honest to Gods picture that. I'm a horrible human.

So, there's not much to say. We've been incredibly busy. I've yet to get the vidoes really looked over and posted. Also need to look through all the pictures and have Taben say yay or nay. He keeps giving me a grumpy face because I have my laptop and thus am seemingly ignoring him. I stick my tongue out at him...

Yeah... so I think I'm going to just stop there. I'm too distracted here on campus. Ah well. I'll try and do something tonight... may not be able to do much till Monday though. You know, party prep and all that fun shtuffs.

See ya all laters.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Pictures and Videos

So, yeah I've been talking to Taben at length about what he's done video wise and for all the pictures we've taken together. And, yeah.

I've not been completely truthful.

I haven't wanted to post any pictures with him in it for his own protection. I'm worried about how people will perceive him. I'm afraid of how people's reactions towards him will be. He's pretty fragile despite the front he puts forward. And I just want him to be... well safe.

I guess though, you can expect to see a page going up in the next few days that will contain the pictures we've taken as well as the video he took yesterday.

I'm still pretty pissed at him for taking the risk of going into the woods when we had a fucking wind storm going on. The fact he told us he was going for a walk around the block helped nothing at all either. I was not happy. Then.. then he had Allen going in with him? At night? We may be in a 'safe zone' but I will not expect It to actually follow through with the deals we've made. Allen could have been hurt... or worse... and Taben was an idiotic ass and took Allwn with him. thank the GODS that Allen got out of there before It got him. Thank Gods allen came and got us. Thank Gods Taben got out of there with my GOOD camera in tact and himself in one piece.

So much stupidity. He's... really lucky we love him. Because... he was just really fucking stupid on so many levels.

The good news. It's raining like mad and it's predicted for the next few days.

Taben's ankle is seriously sprained and he has to wear a brace and stay off it till it's healed all the way. So he can't go risking his life for my benefit again.

I'm gonna go over everything, all four of us will do so together and we'll figure what we want t post and what we don't.

Also, to this 'Guess' person. Thanks. I don't know how, or why, but your last comment to Taben really made him flip his lid. It was a great moment of amusement for all of us. Taben has a bit of an anger problem, when he's bed-ridden and has no means of venting though it's even better. He had a flailing tantrum moment. I'm probably going to the void for saying it, but it's extremely amusing to see his tantrum flails. The fact that us laughing at him sends him into laughing as well is a plus.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Out and about

We're gonna head out and do something to properly celebrate Sam and Dean's birthday.

Don't expect anything from any of us.

I think... I totally got the pick me up I needed lastnight :3

See ya all later!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

So the truth is out...

...Hopefully it'll be worth it...

If I can just save someone, maybe the truth will be worth it.

Just kill me now.

Disturbing dreams

Really REALLY disturbing dreams.

I tossed and turned all night lastnigh. Slept like shit. And the dreams were just... bad.

Slendy and It were after us. And they were stabbing us through with their tendrils.
In the end everyone was killd except me... and I started going insane due to all those I cared about being dead.

Woke up. It's raining. Won't be able to go outside like I was hoping to and go through the woods. There's this hilly area with trees that is just... calling to me. I want to go there.

This is the hill area. There's a swamp and a huge thicket between where I was standing when I took this picture and there.

This is the specific tree that's calling to me. I just... need to go to it and see it.
I don't know why, I just do.

I need to get some of the other pictures I've taken of our woods posted. Still trying to convince Taben to let me post the ones with him in them. I'm gonna go and... work on art I guess.

I'm just not feeling anything today. I just feel like a failure. Yggy's gone. Frap's gone. I can't help but feel like it's all my fucking fault somehow. How many others am I going to loose from this?

...the answer....? Probably everyone...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Into the woods

So, a couple hours ago, we had a pretty beat up Todd appears running from the woods. We helped him in and I got him a change of clothes and let him use the bathroom to wash up.

And then Taben and I went into the woods.

I wanted to get more pictures.  And I wanted to make sure there wasn't a rodent sneaking around.

There was.

You think it's nasty when a Fox and a Rat face off, you should see what it looks like when a Tiger and a Rat face off. It's a good show. Good show indeed. Of course you get another rodent into the fray and.... shit gets messed up.

So we went out into the woods. Taben's walkin' around, I'm walkin' around. I'm getting pictures. We're watching for the peoperty lines. I call out "Taben, you seen the property markers yet?" I'm looking around. Taben's behind me.

"No, not... oh... here's one." It takes a moment for it to process in my brain. Taben's behind me. He's seeing a property marker. I didn't have time to react. Or do anything. I was down before I felt the pain. A nice thick stick knocked me in the head and I went down. I heard Taben thundering through the branches. And then I heard the scuffle. I was just trying to get to my feet. I pulled out my pocket knife. And just went for him. I think I got him a couple times. I don't know. Taben kept tackling and he kept squealing when he fell. We kept trying to take his mask. We couldn't get it. Then... then things escalated. It showed up. And then Todd appeared out of nowhere and then... I don't even know. It was just... all out war. I was pissed, Todd was pissed. Taben was pissed. Then crow appeared. Why was Crow there. I didn't want Crow there. Rat the damned coward was staying behind It. Coward. Fucking coward. Then It started towards me. And then It... disappeared. And took Rat with It. Crow was just there. He looked so confused. He was squawking and panicking.

I tried to calm him down. I tried to get him to calm down. I tried to soothe his frazzled nerves. I think he was confused  I could talk to him and understand him. And he disappeared. I told Todd to get his ass back to the house. He listened. Taben and I made our way carefully back through the woods.

An exciting evening. A nice brawl. I wish I could have chopped off that damned rat's head. Next time. Next time I go with my sword. Next time I'll be better equipped. Tomorrow. I'll go again tomorrow. I'll have more back up then. It'll be war. Now I just need to figure out where the hell Da is. I kinda really need his help.

Oh and Taben informed me we're going on a bird walk thing tomorrow? It's at the park so I guess we're going.
Ok, that's it for now. I'll talk to you all later.

16- Blood

I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff,
I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough.
I gave you blood, blood, blood,
I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!

Watercolors and Gouache
On Illustration board
2.5 x 3.5 inches

Blood. Our life force. What keps our heart and organs and brain functioning.

And right now my greatest desire is to drain someone of every bit of life giving liquid in their body. Rat is dead if I ever see him. Dead. Dead. Dead. DEAD!

No one hurts my family. No one hurts others. I. Will. Kill.

Yes, I'm still hellbent on killing him. I'm still pissed as all get out. Angry as all fuck. This is not something I can just easily forget and toss aside. An innocent animal was killed. My parents were innocent. They were killed.

I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.

And I have to go to class today.

Todd, keep me updated. Please. You know how to reach me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Kill Crush Destroy

That's what I'm going to do to a certain Rat should I ever see him. I mean it. I swear to gods I mean it. Kill. Gonna fucking kill him. You mess with my family. You're ass is grass. I am not happy, not in the slightest.

You ruined Bran's birthday. How fucking dare you. I dare you to come near me. Come here. You'll be hurting real fucking fast.

Be careful Bran. I think It's around. I can't reach Todd. I probably shouldn't but I sent Taben out. Taben's gonna try and find Todd and help.

I am not happy. I have never wanted to kill someone this badly ever in my life. Screw my path. If this guy and I ever meet face to face, all bets are off. He's toast.

Fuck that is not what I wanted for today. And.. just... FUCK. I'm so pissed off it's not fucking funny.

I need to find a way to get Bran her present... If she's not feeling the weekend I'm not gonna force her up here. Even if I think it'd be better for her. I don't care if she'd be a slobbering crying mess. I just know that she'd be completely safe here. I hope to the Gods above that... that.. fuck I don't even know.

I'm so pissed. We come home from a day out (which I needed, thanks Taben). We come back and we're talking and something brought up the Tree that Ygg had found. So I decided let's go find it and take pictures of it. Didn't find the tree. But Taben found a hole. Twisted his fucking ankle. Helped him back in. Took some pics along the way in and back. I don't think we were far enough back where the tree was. I'll post pics later. Or make a page for them or something. There will be a lot of pics... and I still need to go back in to get more. I have pics from today and a couple days ago when it was cloudy drizzly and stuff. I'll get more later. Part of me is concerned about going back in the place on my own. It's weird. Slendy's not been around for a little while. He's usually in and out a lot. He's not been around Since... Friday? I don't know.

I'm so angry. I needed out of that depression but this wasn't the way to do it. Not at all....

I'm going to bed. Fuck all this shit.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

cinnamon rolls and chai

I'm rather pleased withmyself with this simple but very tasty breakfast for our champions here. I did it all by myself. That gives me a happy :3

Came downstairs to Taben starting everything. I told him to get out and get working with Todd. Taben prides himself on being the cook of the house so I had to be a bit more forceful and send him on his way. I think I'm getting the hang of that. Though at the same time I don't know if I like having that power. They're my friends not my slaves. Gods guys if wither of you ever feel like I'm slave driving please tell me. I refuse to have nothing more than your cooperation in everything.

Anyways, as I was saying. Cinnamon rolls and Chai tea. I'm trying to convince everyone to stay longer and just hang out and stuff. I'm a bit afraid of what will happen when they leave. I need to keep my eyes on what I want to accomplish. It's hard without the support of my friends. At least I'll have Todd here for a while. We figure the drive back will be alright and doesn't require him hovering over them so he can use that time to train Taben. Taben's lost and confused and has no idea what to do. I don't know how well I can teach him as I'm still learning. I'm just... torn. So torn. The more I learn the more like them I'll become. I don't want to be a killer. I just want to protect my friends. If I loose my friends, I loose myself. I can't loose myself.

Well, off I go to just kind of hangout with everyone. Wanna go check on Taben and Todd as well. I don't know. Otherwise it's just going to be a slow day. We'll be going to Home Depot after everyone's gone. I guess we're gonna go with getting some berry bushes. Will be nice to have Sam make us some pies for hte harvest season. We're also gonna start a full garden this year. Nothing too much just some small produce for use at home.

Ok, gonna go spend time with the others before they have to go. Byes.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

See you in the Summerland

"When I get sad,
I remember your promise,
To meet me in Summerland.
Rejoice my love, my dear,
For the day will come for you to lead the way,
No more fear,
In our lives no more grey,
Nothing to weight us down,
For you and I will meet again,
We will make the most of it,
For our time lost,
Which will soon come to an end.
Oh how much I miss you,
But though my heart heavy grew,
With grief so true,
For you, but I knew,
That we will meet again.
And I live for that day,
And I loose myself in the way,
But your sweet promise brings me back.
We shall meet again,
In Summerland.
Our lives, free of chains,
We will go, hand in hand,
And we will dance in the rain.
Nothing bad will ever happen,
Our love won't fall apart,
Nothing misshapen,
Will ever break out hearts.
So I will wait for the day to come,
I ill live for the day you will lead me to Summerland,
We will feel freely, nothing numb,
Oh how I yearn for both,
you and Summerland.
Until then, my Love,
Farewell, my sweet dove."

I didn't write this poem myself. I found i on a search of the internet. Found it here actually. It spoke to me. So I borrowed it. I spoke this poem for my parents today. The ceremony was gorgeous. Brennon's mom did a beautiful send off for them, then I read the above poem. Brennon's working on getting the bonfire started, we're going to have a bonfire. We've got the left overs from the catering service that we'll be munching through tonigh and tomorrow.

I don't know where I'd be withough Bran and company here. It means a lot. And to have Todd show up. I was afraid something had happened to him. I should learn to stop worrying. It's easier to fight off It when Todd's closer. I think it's because It had Todd first.

Well, I've got a surprise for everyone. I'm gonna go out and give them their surprise. We're going to even the odds a little bit. Heh. Taben and Todd are here with me. Taben's smirking. Todd is... I don't know. I see why proxies always stay close to their masters though. Communication's easier. And it's easir to fend off other threats from them. Something's fucking with Todd. I don't like that. I'm gonna protect my family dammit. And for what it's worth, Todd. You're my family now. let's go give everyone a surprise... I... just hope no one hates me for it or trusts me any less.

I'll explain everything here later tonight. For not, it's time to party and celebrate the lives we sent on their way.

Mom, Dad? I love you guys. I'll meet you again in the Summerland one day.

Goodbye spring, hello summer.

Today it's supposed to be in the 60s, partly sunny. Low for tonight is 53. Debating on having a ceremonial bonfire after the wake. Good weather for it after all.

Tomorrow's high is 81. Mostly sunny with a chance of thunderstomes in the afternoon. The low will be in the 60s.

Where did spring go?

Taben and I are getting ready to head out and get some supplies and stuff before everyone shows up. Bran and her crew are expected around noon. We'll have a small lunch handy for them. Brennon's family will be here by 2. We'll start the wake at 3. After that there will be dinner, we hired a company to cater. At least the weather's being kind to us and we can have the crowd outside instead of stuffing them all inside.

I don't even know what to think about stuff anymore. Everything's becoming a blur to me. I'm glad my friends will be here. I think it'll be easier to cope that way. May have to tell Todd to stay here. I just, don't want to be alone. I need people who understand.

Taben says it's time to go, so, I guess we're going. I'll see ya later. Bran see you and the crew when you get here. Love you, sis.

Friday, April 8, 2011

She's safe

She was... relatively easy to find. It only took us an hour. I was so relieved that I just passed out. A thank you to Todd and Taben for the help. Brennon stayed in the house to keep Dean sane. The three of us could move faster and cover more area. We have better senses as well... I'll get to that later though.

So.. what happened....

She had made a post. I had thought it was just a joke because she was pissed at Dean and I for teasing her. You know, just normal brotherly teasings and all. The fact she was constantly making that "pchoo" sound and laughing. We yelled at her repeatedly to knock it off. It was getting annoying. She finally stopped. Then Brennon did a check on the message which translated to (what I saw) a bunch of numbers. Then he realized the letters mixed in. really inconspicuous. And that's when all hell broke loose.

I had trouble reaching Todd, that's always a tell tale sign It is near. Finally get through to him. Call Taben and we head out. We hear her screaming coming from the woods. Then it got quiet. We took off. We found her. She was in the same spot where I had been found. She.. was hanging from a tree. She's alright she was just hanging there by her wrist. We got her down checked her over and came back. She was scared and sobbing. Dean took care of her and took her into her room and got her to bed.

I just crashed after that. Between relief and the stress of the moment. I just crashed. Thank goodness tomorrow's a weekend. We can sleep in. And I do intend to. At least kind of. I guess Bran and the others are going to be coming up here. I told her she didn't have to but.... we do appreciate it. The support will mean a lot to us. I just apologize we won't be able to have real fun like we normally do.

Brennon's been so awesome through all of this. He's been so helpful in getting everything set up and worked around. He's been working from home so he can keep an eye on Candy and Dean till they get everything sorted out with school. I'm lucky to have such an amazing man in my life. I love him so much.

Ok, now is where I go and start getting ready. We meet with my parents attorney today to get everything settled and dealt with. After that we'll just be able to... mourn. I don't know if I'm looking forward to that. But in all honestly. I've been feeling at a stand still. I'll be happy to be able to start moving forward.

I just don't know how I'm going to get used to being without mom and dad.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Mother fucking hells

Why Aiden, Why won't you learn? Why don't you ever FUCKING LEARN!

Take fucking Coade SERIOUSLY!


Long night for me tonight. Long fucking night ahead.

Candy's missing.

"She is mine"

Brennon took the time here. Not me. Fuckig Mother fucking HELLS! I just saw numbers I didn't see the fucking letters!

When will this shit END!

15- Questioning

"Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door?
With a thousand million questions
About hate and death and war."

Micron Pens and Watercolors
On Illustration Board
2.5x3.5 inches

I have a lot of questions on my mind lately. Like, when will my questions be answered? When will I understand why there's so much frustration and anger between parties.

The hate is what makes me want to just... give up. There's no reason for it. I don't even know anymore.

Why me? Why am I trapped in this spiral with the great wise Slender Man hovering over me day in and day out? Kelly says that it's something abou splitting. I don't know how I feel about that. Maybe I'm more comfortable with becoming like Him than I realized. That right there scares the living shit out of me though.

Why my parents? Why did my parents die? What did they do? Is it the whole fact that they just weren' in the safe haven? Or is there more to it than that? Thing hasn't been here. I've not seen It. Only Slendy's been here. And Todd. I like Todd. I like that he's here. I dunno. I feel safe. Though in the end it makes me worry about Bran. I want her to be safe.

I'm so confused right now. I don't feel like I've slept. I've got classes to deal with. Brennon's taking Dean and Candice to the school to sign up for the classes so they can finish this semester.

After my classes I'm making plans for the wake this weekend. Dean was saying something about birthday parties next weekend. I just want the stress to end and I want to relax and just... enjoy myself.

I don't know when that'll truly happen though... cause right now I just want to off myself.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Season One
Episode 12: Faith

The Reaper in this totally reminds me of Da.

And I don't care how many times He slaps me for saying that or how insulted He feels.

Black and white Business suits on pale, dead looking people will always remind me of Him. Really, He should feel flattered.

Also, I've been thinking on this whole thing that Ygg's been saying. How we're all parts of Him. We were just seperated or some such. It just doesn't make sense to me at all. I've come to believe a lot of things since everything started. But that's something that just seems so.... odd. So implausible.

Though the idea that he's the reaper, the angel of death... Maybe we're just his replacements.

Also, I really REALLY did not like the "Scarecrow" Episode. Not at all. But then that's me and my Pagan background and the fact I hate when people portray us negatively in ANY WAY! Seriously guys. We're not murderers that are willing to sacrifice human lives. We do NOT worship the devil. When We take an oath to follow our gods we pray to them and tell them we shall never harm another living soul and shall never speak untruths.

Ugh... just... Ugh....

Anyways... moving on.

Back to watching Supernatural and Da... ouch.... I deserved that... but it's not gonna make me stop referring to Him as the Reaper or to this as the Slender Man episode. Fuck... right he's got multiple tools. Fucking tendrils. Bastard. Ouch.......

Practice makes perfect

Da seems pleased with the progress. Just need to keep working on it. We just came back for some food and some rest time. I'm not getting as much of a headache so maybe I'm getting used to this. The more I use this stuff the better right?

I'm more concerned about Taben he's just kinda. he looks alright but he's acting a bit.. out of it. To be fair I don't exactly know how this is affecting him and all. I hope I don't break him.

Practice makes perfect, right? And.. yeah I guess we'll see what happens. I'm worried for Taben, and at the sam time worried and concerned about his well being here. kinda just.. bleh. ok.

Food's nommed down. Time to get back to practicing. I'll catch ya all later
and have details on what's going on. I don't want to say too much right now.

12- Misfortune

"One to many times I've seen you in a frown
You hold your head down in despair
Oh, but, the time is now you wear that frown
Cause you'll never see me again"

Micron Pens and Watercolors
On Bristol Board

You know, I was really hoping I wouldn't have to draw this card any time soon. Really truly was hoping. Gotta love how shit fucks with you. Really, I wish I could fit more people in here. Todd should be there. And Bran and Ygg and every person that commented on my last post. But these cards are small. Same size as a baseball card, and I'm not the best at drawing small. This has really been heloing me with that.

Really, I appreciate everything all you guys are doing. Even if it's just well wishes. It means the world to us. Sam, Dean and I just sat downstairs lastnight watching Supernatural and being kids. Being siblings. Forgetting all the drama and misfortune surrounding us. Brennon bought steak for dinner. We had nice thick new york strip steaks for dinner. They were great. Then.. then we decided to turn in... and we're getting ready to go and Todd shows up. And I think that's what broke the illusion for us. Sam just broke down and Dean and I saw her to bed. Dean's been staying in the room with her. Sam can't sleep alone right now it's too hard. She needs the reasurance of someone being ther for her. Dean's really good with that. I'm glad they have each other. Dean's still mute. I think he talks to Sam but only when they're alone. I could be wrong. I've told them to write out their feelings on their journals. They seem afraid. I don't know how to help them move on. They've been tramatized. And I think Sam blames herself. Because it was her hone that was called, and through her phone that we.... heard.

I've been dreaming about that. The phone call. The screams. Have you heard someone scream as they burned to death? It's the most frightening thing you could ever imagine. And it's not quick like some people think. You know? I'm really fucking pissed at myself. Sitting there for the 15 minutes and listening to thsose screams intead of just getting down there and helping my parents while they were still alive. I'm so fucking pissed at myself for failing them. I stopped talking to my family because I didn't want them to be dragged into this mess.

My parents knew nothing. And now look what happened.
It's just. Not. Fair.

The most we can do now is just try and move on with our lives. I'm going to be going out with Taben. We're going to the park. I have things I want to.. practice. I managed to convince Todd to crash here for the night. He looked worn out.  I've asked him to come with us. He's not happy with us I don't think. He's not really saying much on the matter but I do feel discomfort and uncertainty from him. I guess we'll see what comes of this.

Still waiting to hear back from the the attorneys that hold my parents wills. We'll likely need to go to them in person later today. Also we're going to see about getting Dean and Sam enrolled into one of the high schools and fight for them to not be held back. Yeah that's going to be lovly fun I'm sure. I hate teh school systems sometimes.

We're going to have a wake for our parents this weekend. I know at least that much is what they wanted. It's a matter of hearing back from the people holding the wills to see what else they wanted. I remember them saying their requests for burial were in there. They never wanted to talk about it. Gods love them. They always kept conversation light and cheerful and happy.

Mom... Dad.... I need you guys. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I failed you. I love you. I'm so sorry....

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Moving too fast...

Everythig's moving and happening too fast. Before I left for class for the day we got a call from the Fire marshal. He wanted to talk to Me or Brennon. Columbus is cool like that. they understand and are accepting of same sex couples. So Brennon went on my behalf and took Dean and Candy as well. They needed out of the house and we needed to get transcripts so they could transfer to a school up here since they'll be living with us.

We're waiting to hear from the people that mom and dad put a will through or whatever.

We're not sure what we're going to do for a burial whatever. See. The house was flattened. By time we got there it was fully engulfed in flames and crumbling in on itself. Within 30 minutes all that was left was ashes and pools of melted metal and plastic and what have you. Get this though. An average house fire burns as 1000 degrees. It's hot enough to shatter brick, melt metal but it usually can be stopped before that takes place. It takes at least a few hours of burning for everything to be turned to dust like that. A Cremation chamber burns as 1600 degrees and has to burn for 2 hours to completely cremate the human body. The fire that took my parents and the house only lasted maybe 45 minutes to an hour. by time the fire department got there everything was gone. They're opening an investigation and believe it's arson/homicide. (duh?) But I know they won't find anything and will have to close it. Even so, the house was gone in a 45 minutes. the houses across the street and next door had the siding melted. The fire burned much hotter and faster than should have been possible they says. neighbors and witnesses say that it just was sudden they had heard screaming for help and then the whole house ignited. Just burst into flames.

I just feel so sick. So gross and disgusted. We don't even know what we're going to do. All my grandparents on that side are dead of have disowned my parents for their followings. Our family was always Brennon's family. That's where we spend the holiday and everything. I'm just so... lost and confused. I don't even know what to do.

I'm twenty-one years old and my parents are dead. They're gone. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not like this. they were supposed to see me and Brennon get married. See us be happy. And now... this.

I have to go. I just... I need to start making preparations. We're going to have a wake and we're going to have a ceremony for their journey to the summer land.... I just... did their souls make it? Or... did It eat them....? That's the most troubling part of this whole thing.

I don't know what I'd do without Taben and Ryan here right now. I hope Brennon and Sam and Dean get home soon. I need them.

Yeah... sorry...

Let's pretend that last post never happened. It'd be better that way I think.

That's exactly what happens when I'm upset, depressed, frustrated, angry and haven't had any sleep in over 24 hours.

Brennon came to the rescue with some sleep aids that he hid in our desserts. Dean, Sam and myself all got it. Probably for the best. Still want to punch him for it though.

So, it would seem we're going to become legal guardians for Dean and Candy. And now Candy's wanting to change her name in honor of mom. Maybe it'd make it easier but I'm not sure the legalaties or how to go about that.

Admist all of this we're trying to get everything worked out and get trhough all this asap. The fire marshall has been kind enough to hold off and work around my class schedule. Tomorrow I'll be going down to Columbus to discuss everything with them. And go to Dean and Candy's school and see what we need to do to get them transfered to a school up here. Ugh. I guess in a way I'm going to be a parent one way or another. I'm so stressed and depressed and just.. ugh. Still have to make funeral arrangements. And just... too much going on here. At least we hav Brennon's family helping out where they can, It's a big help. Yay for having in-laws that are also lawyers.

And don't tell me I'm pushing myself too hard. I need to do this. Sitting back and doing nothing will just make me worse. And I might do something that I'd regret.

I still want to kill it. I don't even care anymore. I want it dead.

And I want to know where the hell Yggy went and what's going on.

May not be around much this week... it's.. obviously going to be busy.

Monday, April 4, 2011

I just got home. It's not good. not good at all. I just... don't even know.

I want to sleep but I can't. I'm sick of the damned rain. Sick sick sick sick sick.

I think Todd's worried. He doesn't want to leave. I keep telling him to worry about Bran. He insists she's safe.

Fucking hells. Fucking HELLS!

They had nothing to do with anything! Why the fuck!? WHY?!

I hope to fuck you realize it now you.. you fucking THING! This means fucking WAR! I will find a way to fucking KILL YOU!


By the Gods I can't do this... not now... Sam needs me. This is killing her. Fucking hells. Fucking hells. Fuck.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

14- Silence

Sounds of Silence
Micron Pens, Watercolors and Gouache
On Illustration Board
2.5x3.5 inches

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence"

People should just remain silent. They have something to say? Don't say it at all. I took a nap today. It was the best nap I've had in a while. The best I've slept  in a long while. All curled up with Brennon in bed. It was lovely.

Earlier I had decided to take a walk in the woods. A quiet day and I wanted to go over what had happened the other night in my mind. So I'm walking along what I'm assuming the trail I followed when I got lost and It took me and tried to kill me.  I'm just walking along next thing I know there It is. I just felt... rage... rage inside of me. I wanted to open my mouth and explode. Then.. then I felt hands on my shoulder and something wrap around my face and mouth to silence me.

I'm glad He was there. Cause I'd probably be dead for screeching my anger at the abomination.

The lesson I learned. Don't scream at people and call them out and berate then and yell at the, Instead of saying something? Why not say nothing at all. Of course I understand people do stupid shit when drunk, but yeah.

I'm seeing a lot of people hurting because one person or another wants to throw shit into the proverbial fan and watch it fly. I don't like this. I don't like it at all. We are ALL in this together one way or another. We need to keep our heads fully screwed on and make sure we all come out of this together. I'm not going to turn against anyone, or judge anyone. But, I can't stand watching this go on. I'm here for EVERYONE. I still stand by the fact that my door is open to any runner that wishes to come and find a safe haven here. We will not judge, we just ask you follow the simple rule of everyone that is here is a friend. Everyone here is equal. We are all in this together.

And I just realized. It's 9pm. I hear my brother and Sister's voices downstairs. Why are they here and not home... This is disconcerting. Mom should have picked them up hours ago. Gonna see what's going on.
I was going to make a pos,t but I can't right now. Taben's extremely about his friend Rizzy. And now I am as well.

Her dad went missing lastnight. She's really worried. They've got search parties looking for him but she's scared to death.

So instead of making a post, I'm going to simply ask anyone that prays to pray. Anyone that belive one way or another please hope for the best for this.

We are cwertain this is NOT Slender related. Rizzy and her mom are the only one 'affected' and her dad doesn't believe in paranormal any such things. We're just hoping for the best. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

13- Smile

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you"

Watercolors, Micron Pens, and Prismacolor Markers.
On Illustration Board
2.5x 3.5in

This card was an inspiration. A very pleasant inspiration. Yeah, a day late but I don't really give a damned! I had to do it. So. I called Da. Asked him to come as soon as we got home from our errands. He showed up just as we walked in the door. He seemed curious as to why I called him. Everyone's downstairs eating breakfast or doing other things. Sam and Dean are on the couch. We're planning to watch Supernatural, cause apparently I'm missing out on something awesome. Or so says Sam. So Slendy's there. Sam and Dean still aren't used to him and uneasy with him being there.

~"You called?"~ He says in my mind. Only I hear him (or I think anyways)

"Yeah sorry to bother you from your killing rampage and driving Joce insane once again. I'm really getting sick of you picking on my friends, y'know? Ya need to fucking stop it."

~"It is irrelevant. Why did you call me here?"~ He just stares down at me. I pull out a chair at the table. And gesture for him to sit down.

"I wanna sit down and talk." Just the group of us. "I mean.. I really wanna kind of thank you. You're keeping those of us in this house safe. You've listened to me and agreed not to go after anyone I care about."

~"That does not mean that the Dark One will listen. They are fair game to him."~ He says as he sits down he does seem intrigued then kind of.. stiffens a bit in his posture and looks at me. I can feel he's scowling. ~"You have learned to block me from reading you... why do you not want me to read you?"

"Well I just don't like you pulling my thoughts out. Here I got you a present while we were out." I get the bag from Pat Catans and pull out this big over sized sharpie marker we picked up. I can't help but smirk when I can feel his uncertainty.

~"Whatisthemeaningofthiswhatareyoudoing?Whatareyoudoingwhatisthatfor?WhycanInotreadyou?Letmereadyou!"~ He goes on, hie's panicked concerned worried? ...afraid?

So I open my mind to me and I feel him reading me before he can react as he's reading I just draw a big ol' smiley face on him and back away and put the marker up and just smile at my handy work.

"Happy April Fool's Day, Daddy." I say through a big grin. He got up. he glared at me looked at everyone else, smacked me over the head and left.

I feel proud :3

So in other news. We got Allen's birthday present while we were out. And just did some errand running. I need to go out and to staples again here soon. Forgot some stuff we needed. But for now I'm going to enjoy this. I'm going to assume that he's totally going to remove it but... I'd be so happy if he could leave it.. maybe Frap would be able to talk to him a bit easier if he had a face.

Anyways, It's time for supernatural stuff. See yas!


Taben and I are going to run up to the northern more Art store today. Need more Illustration board card. and it's easier to have these than cutting them yourself and possibly cutting yout fingers off. Oh, believe me, Taben has lots of Illustration board since his job's basically being an artist. But again, the whole cutting thing, and with all my injuries and stuff. yeah, I'm not comfortable with that. I didn't do this to myself but sharp stuff scares me right now. As does It.

So yeah, off I go. I don't have anything to post for 12 which would be misfortune. Oddly enough despite all of this I don't have anything that I could consider a misfortune. Look at everything I have. brother sister, great friends a wonderful man beside me who loves me. I've got Da and Ygg. And... well Ok. It's my misfortune maybe. Having to deal with It. Da, He's cool Ygg is awesome. and yeah.

I'm rambling now. I'll get #13 posted when I get home. Nothing really planned for today. I'll see ya later.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Oh boy

Gonna be interesting tonight. Candice and Dean are here (Sam and Dean as per Bran's preference). It's going to be a long night. We just got done chowing on pizza. We're just sitting and hanging. I'm trying to work on art. Allen's obsession with tops is being filled in with the help of Ygg. You'd think he'd just found the best toy ever. But it works. He's entertained and that's what counts.

We're all just trying to calm down from eating. I'm waiting for Da to get here then we'll be explaining things to them as best as we can.

Oh they now know about It. It was here waiting when they got here. They thought it was Slendy. I felt insulted.
Course when they realized it wasn't Him they started freaking out. I'm glad there's a fair bit of woods between our yards and either of the next door neighbor's. Dean's not sure how we can just not react. Candy's just... I don't know. I'm most worried about her because she always tries to hide how she feels. Dean is... I dunno. They are quite a team together so Bran's reference is good in some part at least.

I kinda want Todd to be here for this as well so he has n idea f what's going on and maybe can explain his own experiences to them. I want to have fun with my siblings this weekend. But... I also want to open up and talk to thim and let them know what's going on. I've nevr turneed away my siblings before and I'm ashamed that I hid them from what's been going on. Candy was just... she clung to me crying and apologizing. She felt my injuries were her fault.

Ugh I wish I could get Bran and co up here again and have another nice weekend. But alas.... here's where w are.

Is it wrong for me to want to enjoy life a bit more before all the twisted terror shit starts happening? I dunno though. I just.. feel it's gonna get real soon.

I don't know what I'd do though... or how i'm going to explain what I can do to my sibs. Ugh. I'm going to try to have fun... but get down to business as well. Let's see if this can really work out this way.

EDIT: Oh, right. We're still looking for a prak we can pull on Da. It's just... how do you prank something that's all knowing? Any help would be appreciated.


It was enjoyable. For the most part. Didn't mean to stay out so long. And I still don't understand why the hell Nil stayed home. I told him he could come. I don't mind. So it was just me, Taben and Ygg. And Ygg got to witness first hand the best prank of the year.

See, Taben has this unfound fear of planes landing on him. So while we were out I decided to just randomly stop in the middle of the road near where the landing strip for the airport was.

I think Taben nearly pissed himself. It was amusing as all hells. Course then Taben spazzed me out by faking to have a massive anxiety attack so... yeah...

Got food and brought it home now we're all chowing on lunch and relaxing. Seems as though It isn't around. Slendy seems more than happy to hang around.... I'm cool with that.

Wonder how to get Da with a prank for the day. Hey! Maduin started it! The bloody bastard. Blame him!

11- Insanity

I am leaning on this sharp tip blade
with no balance or support
This insanity is eating at me
And death will reach my soul

Micron Pens, and Watercolors

on Illustration board.
2.5 x 3.5 inc

Insanity, good ol' flaming batshit insanity. I'm sick and tiered of it's bullshit.
It has been around a lot. It comes into the house it watches us. I know It's angry. Let the bastard be angry. At least after Slendy fought with it one last time It left. Really need to thank Da for that when I see him today.

Going to be running around and avoiding the intranet and all life today. I HATE the first day of april. HATE HATE HATE. I've already spazzed out because of what someone did on the blog I follow. But at the same time I maybe.. recognized it was all in good clean fun... right? RIGHT? Pffft whatever. I was unhappy but I'll let that one go. And I'll go running around and stuff.

Going to take Yggy to a toy store. Gotta get some stuff at the art store as well. And other little necessities. Wonder how many looks I'll get being bandaged up all over on my wrists and neck... this is gonna be fun.

Anyways I'm sorry I don't have anything more exciting to post. I don't do the whole April Fool's stuff. So. yeah. Though I was told I should. I just... don't know.

Anyways I'm going now. To the store and other runnin around.