Saturday, June 25, 2011

Just go back...

We just got back from another search outing for Ry. Still found nothing.

Slendy seems upset... like peeved off. But I'm not sure why. He says it wasn't him. He didn't do this. He's very adamant about it. It's weird hearing him reiterate over and over that he's not responsible for the disappearance.

He's blaming It. I dunno who to blame. I just know I want Ryan back. Taben just... isn't the same. I've seen Taben have down days but I've never seen him slink into this deep of depression. Not in a long time. He's blaming himself for the fight and argument hey had. For Ry leaving and disappearing. Thing is. Ry's pretty laid back. Taben's the one that raises his voice in arguments. Ry just quietly seethes and let's it wash off his back and gets to working things out. If Ry actually left and is avoiding us and getting time away from us, this is a first, and it's not like Ry. which has me concerned in other ways. What if he's being turned into a proxy? What if It is doing it. According to an update from Bran, he no longer has Rat. He no longer has Todd either... is he looking to replace his precious rodent? ...Is he going to replace the rodent with a dragon...? That might be scary... for everyone involved. I just... don't know what to think. All I know is that, I feel at fault in some way. If I hadn't taken Taben with me to help with Malkin and Chas... Taben wouldn't have had to drop from this session of classes, and he and Ry would not have gotten into a fight. And to think... we though entering a full relationship/family unit was going to cause problems. No. It's me. And holding Taben as a 'proxy'.... that's causing the problems... and now Taben's dying inside... cause his husband's missing....

And it's all my fault... I don't even know what to do...

Maybe it's just not worth it anymore...

I'm sorry Taben, so sorry. I love you man... and I'm so very sorry.


  1. This isn't your fault, Aiden :< how could you have known this would happen? This is because we live surrounded by horrifying abominations. I don't really think its possible to live without any kind of strife occurring. It isn't any of our faults. Its caused by our two favorite skinny gentlemen and there isn't a lot we can do to stop it.

    We'll find Ryan. Everything will be ok :< all we can really do is try not to give up hope. If we lose hope then It wins.

  2. Don't blame yourself. You did what you had to. Taben, if he wasn't depressed, wouldn't want you to blame yourself.

    I have a feeling Ryan will be found and okay. I just hope that it'll be sooner rather than later since I know the separation is hard on dear Taben and you as well.


  3. Since I can't log in and reply I'll be mr Anonymous, but not...

    I feel like it's all my fault. I can't help it. I'm just owrried. What's going to happened to Taben? What's going to happen?

    Taben went for a walk out into the woods, he left early this morning. I hope he's alright. He's been gone a long time. Hoping he gets back. We're going to be going out and looking and getting in contact with any of Ry's family we can manage.

    We're all trying to hope for the best. I'm not sure how well that's going to work though. It's worrying and infuriating. All at the same time.

    Also, It's been gone. Slendy's been around a lot. And he seems pissed as all get out. But he's not telling us what's going on. wish I could convince him to sit down and talk to us. I also want him to help us with Chas. Let Chas remain awake and all. So we can all have like a group discussion.

    Gods forbid I am able to understand him. I guess the game's not as fun when I try to.