Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Quick update

This was going to be a reply to the comments in my last post... then it got painfully long so I moved it to it's own entry instead, as much as I hate taking time out to do a huge long entry, I really need to vent. So.. here goes.

First off, Thanks guys. Branwen, Xirena, it means a lot to hear that. I'll let Taben know when I can. He's still in the room. He's not come out and the door's still locked. I'm just giving him his time right now. Allen's still over with Taben's mom. As can be expected it's been... hard. We're trying to make plans, figure out how to get him to move on. We're debating if we should call authorities or who to have tend to Ry's body.
Brennon and I went out this evening. We found the path Taben found. It's newer. So it was fresh and new when Taben found it. Taben had said everything was fresh. He said he'd heard Ry's screams of pain and cries.... I just... don't even know. Taben's going through so much right now. I dunno. All I know is we can't leave Ry out there to be eaten by the coyotes or wild creatures. What we saw is... I'd never wish that on anything or anyone. Especially not Ry. He may have been tough and hard to manage but... he was a great person. I don't even know what to do. I'm still so shocked and uncertain.

Xirena, thank you. I think we could use all the support we can get right now. It's going to be a long few days. I'm wondering how people will feel, what will the authorities do? Should we report this? what the hell do we do? I... think it's safe to say not to expect much from us for a bit. We'll have hands full and be busy.

Bran, I'll tell Taben about the party and see what he says. He may need it. It's a matter of him coming from his room. We're also still thinking about the July 4th party still. If anything I'm hoping that Taben will snap out of it quickly, if only to be there for Allen. We're going to go pick him up tomorrow. He needs to be home with his mom. Taben needs Allen right now more than ever. I just hope we can keep their spirits up as much as possible. It hurts me to feel this much from Taben. He hurts so bad. I've no idea what to do. Dear ol' Da's been in and out. No sign of It. Todd/Alex seems ticked. I dunno how long he'll be here. We're both worried It may come after your group soon. Even more so now if you've got that party this weekend. And there's another member of the family we didn't take into consideration. Raven. Taben and Ryan's cat. She was practically Ryan's 'familiar' for lack of better term. She's been wandering around the house meowing loud and sad sounding. She keeps trying to get into the bedroom with Taben and then just lays by the door mewling. This is just all so heart breaking. I don't even know how to handle this.

It's weird. I feel horrible. I don't think the death of my parents hit me this hard. This is just... a huge blow. I accepted mom and dad's death quickly and moved on... this.. this one's going to be worse. This is the third death we've had in the family due to It. With my parents there was a bit of ash and bones and that was it. With ?Ry it's just... horrible... there's so much more to it. I don't even know what to do, I just want to cry.

But I can't. I have to be strong. I guess it's time to rally up the troops and start. War's coming. I can feel it. I know it. We're going to need all the help we can get. If you can help, let me know. We'll make space for you to crash here while we get things running. Again, just let me know. We'll make arrangements.

No one hurts someone I care about like this and gets away with it. No one. I said it last post and I'll say it this one again. It is going to die. I'm going to murder the fucking monster.


  1. I've thought about that. Thing is, mom planned the party. There's nothing I can do to derail it or move it or anything.

    She feels bad that a bunch of my friends went 'missing' (I use quotation marks because I know the one's that didn't die are still lurking around out there...so I KNOW they're somewhere) and she's trying to make up for that fact. And she said, "Thank God Casey and Aiden are okay."

    Jesus...I hate to break her heart and run but that's what has to happen. At the latest by the end of next month. At least she'll get to keep Ace...

    I just have to hope nothing disastrous happens at the party. Right now I feel like It can do (almost) whatever the hell it wants to us before and after that, It just needs to leave the party alone. If all of us together are REALLY ACTUALLY a force that slows It down (I still don't understand this logic and I don't think I'll ever fully believe it's true), then that should help. Because we'll all be there together. I even told Alex he could come. And I told Todd that if he's the one that's awake to pretend to be Alex.

    I feel like it's all coming to a critical point here...

    ~ Branwen

  2. Taben knows that he has my support, but it may not hurt to remind him that he isn't completely alone in this every once in a while. The weight and pain that he is carrying is a heavy burden and we can only do what we can to try to shoulder some of it for him. He can survive this, I know he can.

    All of you, especially sweet Taben, are in my thoughts and prayers.

    I don't know what the authorities could/would do if you told them... At the same time, they may find Taben's prints on Ryan and think he's responsible, so there's a bit of risk there so I don't know either...

    Do what you have to do. Just know that even if I don't hear from all of you, you'll still be in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.