I don't know what to say. I honestly didn't want to post anything. At all. But I feel the need too.

Everything was going great. Taben was there and I was nervous but we hung out and... it was like nothing had ever happened. It was normal. I had my boyfriend back, my friend and we were happy. Eventually he moved around with the group visiting those he knew and I took Malkin into the woods to practice and learn. He did pretty well and learned quickly. As a test I had him follow Taben when he snuck off with his friend Mark to hike one of the trails. He seemed a bit troubled when he came back but he had done the job very well, I had asked Taben if he'd noticed and he had said no. He felt a bit betrayed about it but was fine otherwise. He seemed really distracted though and wanted to go back into the woods and on the trails. I ran Malkin through some other simple tests ad we did a couple joint things and all went well as can be hoped for.

Then Taben just.. went missing. We couldn't find him anywhere. We searched the trails. We searched the park. We assumed that he just went 'home'  I assume he went into the woods to 'work' or see his boss/master whatever.  I don't know. I'm so confused. All I know is when we finally left our phones were ringing off the hook. Brennon and Chastin trying to call us. Allen was missing. Slender Man took him. Brennon was injured, he's doing alright, just in a lot of pain. He's stuck on bed rest for a few days. And won't be allowed back to the office until his ribs have healed up a bit. They were telling him three weeks and that he had to take it easy. Thank goodness he's at a desk all day and can work from home. Makes it easier. Still worried for him though. At least he's alright.

Oh to make things worse. Taben's turned against us again. He says it's our fault that Slendy took Allen and we're going to die for it. He's denounced Slender Man as his Master and disappeared into the woods. This makes me extremely uneasy.

I'm also very uncertain. Very confused... And I feel like a total failure. I just need to sit and rest. I'm going to sit back, relax and drink some of the mead we have and just... i dunno. I'm just done. I'm a failure. How am I going to help anyone. I just keep making it worse.

Picnic outing

Yes. I said it. Randomly tomorrow. We're going to a picnic outing that the local fur group's having. It's at a nice little place in the middle of nowhere in Cuyahoga Valley National Park. I need to get myself out of this funk. The only way I will be able to do it is if I get out with friends and do crazy crap. My concern? meeting up with Taben, he had been talking about going long ago. And, yeah unease. He'll kill. I know that Brennon and Chastin can take care of themselves and Allen. Malkin needs to practice and learn. And the only way he'll do that is to get around people and to get to uncharted territory that he's never been to. He's been in the woods behind the house here plenty of times. He knows it, he's familiar with it. So he can't learn anything with it. It's about an hour away. There will be people he never met.

I apologize to Malkin in advance if furries aren't your thing, but I guarantee we won't be around them much. But since you were cool with out friends when Taben got Slendy after their ass you'd probably be cool with this picnic thing as well. I'll pay your way in as well, so don't worry about that.


In other news, still have not eaten anything, and have not drank anything. been almost two weeks. And been even longer without sleep. And I'm feeling fine. Boy does this save us money around the house. though i do miss the taste of stuff in my mouth. I think I'll go another week to be sure it is what it is before I return to my normal routine of eating and drinking. It's too much of a social thing and i miss sitting and having dinner with everyone else. We have the best conversations then. I think I'm going to start cooking as well.


I know people won't want to hear this, but I think I'm going to stop college. I'm so busy with all this current madness I just don't have time. I want to concentrate on helping others. I dunno. My mind may change but I'm doubtful. We'll see. I have until my first week of fall classes. I just.. will really miss Taben and having him around as college buddy, and again the whole being busy thing. Brennon has a nice cushy job now though so.. do I really need to go too school to get a degree I'll never use? I dunno.


Anyways that's it for not. it's been pretty quiet and there's not been much to really say. I'm going to head off and work on getting the supplies we need to take to the picnic ready. I'll see ya all later. Stay safe, eye open.

Too quiet.

It's been just that lately. Way too quiet. Quieter than I'm comfortable with.

Allen's been doing well. He's been in the rec room playing Katamari. I usually sit on the couch and watch. I've also got Slendy keeping an eye on him, which he does a good job with. It's the only thing that Da' ever willingly obeys on when I ask him to. I really should sit down and interview him. I just need to come up with questions. I keep expecting Da' to talk with me and ask questions. He never does. He's not been this quiet around us in a long time. I don't know if I like it or not.

I find myself at times missing sleep. No I've yet to actually sleep. No, I'm not tired in the slightest, but it's boring and lonely. I've been spending my spare time sitting and just watching TV or playing games in the rec room. I just look after Allen and keep him as safe as possible.

I guess I should report back on the experiments. It's almost been two weeks without any food. I'm not hungry at all. I mean I feel like I could eat, and I feel myself often wanting to go with the old habit of feeding myself. Then I realize that I'm just not hungry, so I don't eat anything.

I have to go ID Sam and Dean's bodies today. I really don't want to. But it needs to be done. Then we're going to have them cremated. We're working on setting up having a wake for them this weekend. If people want to show up, they can.

I'm just to a point where I just, don't care anymore. I'm going see my loved ones die around me. I'm going to loose them and there's nothing I can do about it. I've half a mind to just go and leave everyone here to protect them and do what Da' wants me to do. He wants me to be a good little hatchling. I should just give in. Then the madness would stop. Or would it? I don't even know anymore.

I hear Allen waking up. I don't think I'll ever be able to get used to these heightened senses. But it means more experimentation. Right? Right.

Ok, going to go handle Allen. Get him fed and taken care of. Malkin agreed to watching Allen while Brennon and I go into the Morgue and make arrangements for Sam and Dean. I can't believe our partner killed my brother and sister. I keep telling myself this isn't him. He's being controlled. But then... why? Why is he still working for ///It/// when we have Allen with us safe and sound? I'm so confused and uncertain. I hope it all makes sense in time.

I just don't want to bury anymore of my family. Brennon, Allen, Malkin, Chastin and Branwen; they're all I have left. Taben's gone. Ryan's gone. My parents are gone and now Sam and Dean. It's killing me. And yet at the same time, I can't do anything about it. I feel empty and emotionless. It's... almost scary. I don't know what I'd do if I lost myself. Above all things; I cannot. Lose. Myself.

Back...

I have Allen. It was way to fucking easy. Something smells fishy if you ask me.

I had sent Malin out to keep an eye on Chas and Brennon. After Taben's threats. Haven't heard anything from him. Maybe he'll come for Allen, and we can subdue him. Or... is that the trap right there. We allow Taben in to his son and then he turns and attacks us. I don't know.

Guys... everyone. I just... Sam and Dean are both gone. Dean died on impact. Sam... she was in critical condition but the doctors had hope. That hope was dashed when she gave up this morning. My siblings are gone. I don't know how to take this. I'm thrown back into the sense that this is some nightmare. I thought they'd be safer running. And.. they weren't.

Guys... I... implore you.. all of you. Come up here. Bran, Seth, Skyler, Casey Tadd, Alex. Please guys. Come up here. You'll be safe here. Please. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you all as well. Please. Please. I don't want to loos anyone else. I can't do this anymore. Please....

Or... maybe... maybe they're right. last night. It. Slendy. they both told me this was my path. And this was where I was destine to be. If I didn't come willingly I'd be forced to it by death and despair that will surround me. But I still fight and I still come back to this house. But... why? I find myself wondering why I even bother anymore. Maybe I should just save everyone and give up.

I don't know.

Strike Two

I was the one on the phone with them. I heard it all. Sam and Dean, I'm sending prayers that they pull you out. And you recover. I know I'll get a call sooner or later. For now. I have the hint I need. We're going to rescue Allen. We'll keep him here and safe till we can figure out what to do.

I'm hurt and angry and disgusted. But I have the lead I needed. Malkin and I are gonna go for a walk where the black leaves grow. Wish us luck. Stay safe, eyes open.

Failure

...Bran... Todd/Alex... I'm... I'm so sorry... So very sorry.

I... don't even know what to do anymore. I don't know how it got to this.

I'm so sorry. I'm a failure. I'm supposed to stop this stuff. Stop it. Taben's my responsibility but it's all gotten out of control. I don't even know what to think.

Actually, yes I do. I think we need to go about this a different way. We need to get Allen back. So, that's our next plan of action. If we have Allen, they'll have no sway over Taben. Taben's not a killer. He just wants his son safe. We can't let Taben kill again. Malkin and I will be out late tonight trying to find Allen. Wish us luck.

Strike One

We've lost Taben.

I want to be pissed and angry, but honestly, I don't have the time right now. Slendy's not happy in the slightest. There may be a chance he can get Taben back to us, but I'm not going to get my hopes up just to have them dashed again. For now I've revoked his access to here. He won't be posting here till I know he can be trusted. I'm close to blocking him fully from the content here.

I find myself thinking hard about this.This just doesn't seem like Taben. I find myself wondering if this is a measure Taben's done to keep Allen safe. Allen's still missing. Maybe It and the group have Allen. And are using it as bait. Claiming they'll give Allen back and keep him safe if Taben joins them. I do not like this one bit. Taben would do anything for that kid. It's the only logical explanation.

In other news, I've done it. Malkin's got some... nice advantages he can use now. Maybe it's a good thing Taben's not here. Malkin may need time to learn and understand everything he's been given. And then maybe his blood will be enough to heal Taben. We'll need to keep on guard though. All bets are off if something happens to Allen. Taben will be lost to us forever.

For now, We're going south. Something tells me that they're after Branwen's group. That's the only place I know that has a Crow and a Raven.

Hunting Prey

Master won't let its prey get away. No. No we won't. I know where they are.  I know. I will get them. I will help aid the hunt. They are good. Good prey. I will find them. It's what we need. The Slender Man will not know what happens.

Crows and Ravens are good meal for tigers. Good meals indeed. Feasting soon. Almost there.

Drama drama drama

The confusion never ends. Does it.

I just had a very angry foreboding Slender Man appear in the room and... well that was pretty fucking scary to have him as angry as he was.

So, it appears that Slendy isn't the one that took Taben this time around (he didn't deny it the first time). Looks like we have a case of It. Well. Fuck. Slendy's not happy in the slightest. But for fuck's sake he doesn't have to scream at me like this. I'm sick of it. Oh, to make matters worse, Slendy says he's 'misplaced' Allen. I hope to hells above this doesn't mean It has him as well. Seriously. I'd like some normalcy... a break from drama, but it seems like it's not likely to ever come. Well. Fuck. So unhappy right now. At least I have Malkin's company. I don't have to fight off the loneliness with the computer. Perhaps that's one plus to this revenant thing. I'm going to do the same with Taben as soon as we get him back. I've found Slendy can't exactly force himself in on my charges. So this may work out for the best. It's just a matter of being sure that Chas is spared.

Well, off to search. Wish us luck.

Ramblings of a hatchling

Does Slendy ever get lonely?

I sit here now with Taben, keeping watch over him. Malkin offered to sit with me and keep me company. Chastin joined us as well. I don't think Malkin's told Chastin yet, that or Chastin's taken it a lot better than I thought he would have. I feel bad, there's no way for him right now to get the answers he needs. I'll have to call Da' here sometime and we'll have a nice big group chat. Maybe tomorrow evening. Er... tonight. Heh, loosing track of the days from not sleeping. Everything blends together so much.

I think Malkin had planned to sit up with me. I'm sorry dear, you're not a Revenant, you don't have the ability to stay up. I won't take the chance of ruining you. Still it was cute seeing the Chas and Malkin fall asleep sitting together, even if Chas's sleep was bothered. Chas woke up and took Malkin in to their room a little later. I smirked and told him "Kitten needs his sleep" He gave me an odd look and smirked and left. I don't think he knows.

I notice, I'm most rambly at this time of the morning. When everyone's asleep, and here I am awake. It must get lonely for Slender Man. Stand around staring at people. Watch them sleep, have them ignore you. Forcefully so at times. You're just not wanted. It must be really lonely.

See, you may not realize it, but I'm a social butterfly. I have to be around people. I get depressed and sad really easy if I'm alone and left to my thoughts. I'm probably the worst person to be chosen by these things to be 'one of them' I will never be like them. Ever. I am me, and that's all that I'll ever be.

So, yeah. Tough luck Da', I know I'm your prodigy and all. But I'll never be what you want me to be. I'm not going to be a murderous controlling monster like you. I'm going to be me. Aiden. The person that loves and cares for all. And that' exactly why I'm going to work with KK. We're going to work and find an answer. We're going to find a way to get rid of you. Forever.

I know what it means, and I'm afraid. But... whatever. It's for the greater good. When it's all said and done I'll just be happy that people will be able to rest in peace and not bear the burden of knowing of your existence. So I do this, for the stalk, for the proxies, revenants, hallowed. For those tht have tried and died in vain. I do this for Rober, and Zero, for Ryan, for Taben. For Zeke and Celeste and Violet and Ava. For Frap and Joce, for Ygg and all those others that have gone before us. I don't care if it means I'm going to die in the end. But I'm going to do this. I'm going to fight. And it will not be in vain. Never in vain.

I love you guys, all of you. I'm hear for you. Just hang on. We'll get to the bottom and the end. Life will get better.

Quick updates

New Project's being started. You can learn more about it here:
http://www.thenetworkiswatching.blogspot.com

Taben's doing better. I guess. I've got some... plans and experiments to try.  I'll be keeping watch over him tonight. Pale and faceless won't be getting near him tonight. Tomorrow is going to be a full day of looking for Allen. I've alerted the police and they've got parties out tonight. The rest of us will be joining in tomorrow. For now, I'm making sure that Taben's safe and asleep. We need to get this hallowed affect off of him. Slendy won't be happy, but I don't give a flying fuck anymore. Taben's mine. Malkin's mine. That's how it is. If He doesn't like it, then He can kiss off.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm done pretending to be the friend of the enemy. first priority is Alien faceless. Then it's Slenderp. After that... well. I know what I have to do then. But that's a long ways off.

Losing Time.

Taben is, not me.

I came home to find Taben passed out in bed covered in blood. He was laying in our bed sleeping in a deep undisturbed sleep. I almost didn't want to wake him. But I had to make sure he was alright. I scared him when I woke him and he broke down sobbing and crying and clung to me. I'm not sure what exactly is going on. All I get is apology after apology. He's crying uncontrollably and then I finally coerced him to go take a shower.

When he came out we sat and talked. Judging from what he tells me, he's lost four days. The last thing he remembers was Da' having an electric shock attack, and then playing outside with Allen catching lightning bugs. Nothing after that. So, it's confirmed. He's definitely becoming Hallowed. And I'm willing to bet that Da had him go and help with a killing of some sort. This, in and of itself has me worried. Allen's still missing. Either he wasn't with Taben, or... well I'd rather not think about that. I hope to the Gods above the latter thought is NOT the case. How would Taben even handle that.

In either case, the point is. Taben's Hallowed. We're losing him. It's time to work to keep Da' away. No Slendy. No... Slender Man. I'm done with sounding like I have a relationship with him. In a way maybe I do. But I'm sick of pretending. I do not appreciate him. I hate him. Between Him and It fucking with me I'm becoming more and more inhuman.

Oh, and that's another thing I should. I'm ready to report in on experiment number two. I've not had anything to drink since I began my experiments. This is Thursday, July 14th. That is the last day that I drank anything. I guess I'll go ahead and say that I've been working with experiment number three as well. I've not eaten since the same time. The post where I state that I'm starting experiments is the last time I ate, drank or slept. A human can only go about three days without water. I guess I've ticked off another aspect of being human. I guess we'll see. If I can make it past two weeks without food. Well, we'll see what happens. I'm not feeling to good about any of this.

Oh, and Malkin, we need to talk. I've got some ideas that we need to take into account. Perhaps we can talk with KK and get her opinion on things? I've just got some... very necessary questions and some grand ideas... if we can make them work.  I'm just afraid. I'm afraid if I tell you or anyone else, Pale faceless will be able to suck it from you. I can keep him from my thoughts. But I'm unsure about anyone else.

And with that, I'm going to go. I'm gonna get Taben fed and try and talk to him and figure out what's going on. I'm also gonna inquire about Allen. He's said nothing about him since he's been home. So maybe he has him somewhere safe.... that or... maybe he doesn't realize Allen's not here.

Confusion

Can anyone explain this to me? Anyone? Please? I just saw it. And I'm trying to figure out what the hell it means.

Also, Taben is missing. So is Allen. This concerns me. A great deal. I just came back to check on stuff at the house. Sam and Dean have their licenses now. We're sending them out now. We got a bunch of cash for them so they can move for a while, and we've signed the title to the van over to them.

I want them running. I don't know how much more time they have. I don't know how much more time anyone has. I'm losing myself, my boyfriend; Brennon's still close but it's a matter of time till I lose him as well. How many friends with I lose? I hoe I can find Taben and Allen. I've tried to speak with and call Faceless to come and speak with me. Nothing yet.

I'm just so lost and confused. I feel like I'm losing everything. I need to hang on. Just need to hang on. Trying. I. Am. Trying. But... will I prevail?

What the fuck is a witchchilde? What do the names and numbers mean? What the fuck does any of this mean?

This is not good.

So Taben's just... well. I think we're losing him. I think he's becoming a hallowed. Last night I woke up to what sounded like someone getting sick in the bathroom. I went to check on this and found Taben in there coughing and sputtering blood. I did not want it to come to this. EVER. If this is how he's going to be, then how, how pray tell is he going to be able to protect Allen and keep him safe? Malkin brought up a good point in that.

Let's add into this that he's probably just infected a group of his closest friends. I'm certain that we're going to hear about some disappearances soon. I'm not comfortable with this... and it's not something Taben needs to deal with. Brennon and I were talking as we were laying down to sleep last night. We're losing Taben, we're losing our boyfriend. It seems like this is just.. something Slendy's trying to do. It scared me. It scares both of us. Allen needs Taben, he needs his mom. It's all he has left. Taben, in his Hallowed stupor, came out to his mom.

She's pretty much disowned him. Especially when she found out he had put in papers to legally change his name. She's threatened to take legal action to get Allen from Taben. She can't do it, and Tabne has Allen's doctors behind him on all of this. Allen's grandmother told Allen about this. And Allen go angry.

All Taben has is me, Brennon and Allen and then what few of his friends are left. Malkin, Amber, Mark. I don't know if Chastin considers him as such. Come to think of it, I've hardly seen much of Chastin since he's returned. But still, it's complete chaos.

I have some thoughts and plans though.

Oh, and the experiments I'd been talking about? here's current progress on experiment one.

I've not slept since Wednesday. I'm awake, fine. I'm not tired in the slightest. I can fully function and think. I'm showing no signs of exhaustion or whatever it is normal human beings have to deal with. I don't know if I like this. It may work to my advantage, and if I try to sleep I'm sure I could. I have to wonder as well. How much is Taben actually sleeping now that he's not rooming with us and has gone back to his old bedroom.

Brennon and I want our boyfriend back. Malkin wants his friend back. It's a matter now of convincing Da' to let me have him back and not go after Mal and Chas again.

Lots of thinkin' time ahead of us. Wish us luck.

Home and mostly safe

Allen is home and safe and sound. Taben is.... well he's worse for wear, but alive. Bruised, cut, slashed and bandaged all over. I think he'll be alright. He's strong. He loves for that kid and as long as Allen is alive and well, so will be Taben. I miss having my tiger at my side. I guess now he's Da's tiger. Now I have a kitten? I dunno. I asked Malkin what he'd identify with, I don't think he took me seriously. He just shrugged. I dun blame him though, if something bad happened between Brennon and I then Brennon came back and apologized and admitted his wrongness I'd be spending as much time as I could as well.

I'm glad hes back. Chastin I mean. I'm glad that Allen's back, but happier that Chas is. Though I dunno if Mal told him about out... connection. I hope he doesn't take that news to hard.

In other news. I'm going to run an experiment. I'm not going to say what it is, but I'll keep updates going. I'm turning into an inhuman monster... so I guess it's time to see how inhuman I could become. It's what They want after all, right?

I'm still going to kill It. I swear. I can't even call It 'It' No. It's a Thing now. Thing makes me pissed. Angry. Furious. I see Taben's feeling reflected in his eyes. He feels the same. Thing too Ry from him. Thing took Mateo from him. And now it's tried to take Allen. We'll fight it, man. We'll fight it. I swear. Thing will never take Allen. Da and everyone else in this house will not allow it.

Also, I'm sending Sam and Dean away. We discussed it at length last night, Brennon, Sam, Dean and I. They fought it. Fought it real hard, but we finally came to an agreement on it. They're going to go. Travel. I'm going to talk to Allex/Todd at length, give him the keys to my van, sign the title over to their name, and send them out. First though, they have to get their licenses. They're working on it now. Good ol' 16. I remember being happy and carefree.. and in love.

Sam and Dean may never get that because they've been thrust into this nightmare. I know they'd be safe here, but, something tells me this won't be a safe haven for much longer. If Thing can find loopholes, come in and takes someone out of the property limits, then it's likely to find other loopholes. I don't want to take chances. If they're gone and away they'll have a better chance of surviving. If I can just help them to live and be... them. Maybe they'll forget all of this. I can only hope.  Maybe they'll forget, and then be safe.

We all know those sorts of fairy tales rarely ever happen however. One can hope and pray though, yes?

I guess we shall see how things go. I just wanted to take time, update you all on the previous situation and make my way off to conduct the first of my experiments.

Stay safe, eyes open.

It's on, Thing

So, Allen's missing.

I wa taking a nap and was woken to Taben screaming and going insane. It was shortly followed by dear ol' Da going insane. Ever heard him yelling and pitching a fit while angry? Oh it's not a pretty thing. Not at all.

Actually it's the scariest thing I've ever seen next to Taben's Temper. Taben doesn't get mad often but when he does. You'd better look out. Tonight was one of those times. To be woken by Taben, then hear Da going off and just.. yeah scary shit. All around.

I think the part that pisses me off most is the part where I was totally dissed and told to stay home cause I'd 'get in the way' I know Taben's just upset, but... it really hurt. The fact Da' agreed kinda miffed me as well.

Even so, I'm staying put. We know this was Its doing. So... it's a matter of waiting and going freak out mode on the damnable thing.

You don't mess with my family and friends. Especially not the youngin's. You come near me, Thing, you're so fucking dead.

Fuckin Finally

I figured it out. I got him. I got Mal. I grabbed hi ass and got the fuck out of there. I think he was just about to go into that castle. That would ave been horrible bad. Horribly HORRIBLY bad. But I got him, I grabbed him and brought him back.

We got back and, and Chastin was here. I was... well I'm still confused. At least he's back?

One thing that I'm concerned about is... well, my staying power. It's been what, three days? I lost count. Neither of us have slept. At all. And yet we're still wide awake and fine. Like nothing happened. Only something did happen. It's like a giant nightmare happened.

I'm afraid. Da said He didn't switch Malkin with Taben, He hadn't gotten control of Malkin like He wanted. He seemed upset that I seemed to get control of him. But I didn't do anything. I didn't want to do that to him. At all. I wouldn't have done anything like that. Never, not without asking him. But that leave the question.

How the hell did I gain control of him. I feel like.... I just feel like I betrayed him. I don't know how it happened. I didn't want it to happen. I'm just, going to try and ignore it for now. At least we should all be safe for now. Da seems pissed that I got Malkin so easily. But then that goes back to me not even knowing how. I just... did.  Oh and look I was thinking. three days straight. I didn't sleep. THREE. DAYS. STRAIGHT. And I'm not tiered in the slightest. I'm ready to take on the new day. No desire to sleep at all.

I hate this. I don't want to be... this. But here I am. I'm.. this. That place made me feel funny too. I could feel my tendrils. I must have scare the shit outta Mal at first. it's so dark and all you see is silhouettes at first. Seeing some creepy thing with tendrils coming towards him not knowing what it was. At least I was calling to him. Or I thought I was. I don't remember speaking but I remember saying his name, and then him answering me.

I'm just so confused and uncertain and just... lost. I don't want to become this... thing. But.. at the same time, maybe it's alright? Maybe I can make this work. I can save people. I dunno. All I know is I want to just cuddle up with Brennon or Taben or someone and just... let this all pass and go away.

Only time will tell I suppose. I'm off. I'm starving. At least that part of me is still human. Seems holding onto my humanity is becoming a hard thing to do. Need to go with what I have and be thankful I still have it.

So much for being quiet....

Guess I get to go on a scavenger hunt, only thing is, I don't have any clues to go off of. Fuck.

Just... fuck.

I wish Da would just let us have peace for a while. Just leave us alone. Let us relax. I still have to go search for Chastin and find out where the hell he went. Just.. fuck.

I hate this. I hate who I'm being turned into. I just.. hate it. Hate it so damned much.

I'm sorry everyone that I've gotten dragged into this mess.

Wish me luck.

Going on a trip!

It's gonna be so much fun! Just Malkin and I. Going on a trip. Hehehe! I can't wait. Master said it was time, so, I guess it's time!


Wakey wakey Malkin! We get to go have fun! I hop he'll like it as much as I will :3

Missing the mind

Everything's been kind of quiet, not much to really update on. Taben's been kinda taking the whole loss of Mateo a bit harder than he was at first. And we've been going with it and doing fun filled stuff with him where we can. The last few days Taben's been taking Malkin and myself down to Massillon where we've been hanging out with his friends. It's been nice and it's weird to have some sort of normalcy. These are people that don't have Slender Man following them and just kind of joke about the whole thing with Taben. They didn't really do the joking stuff lastnight which is fine.  They did what Taben needed though. They gave him the extra love and support that we can't give him. We laughed and we had fun. We went out to dinner and Tabne saw old friends he hadn't seen in a while. They gave Taben a shoulder so he could remember and cry and then we went back to just having fun. Slendy was there, but he was always in the distance. I realized after we got home last night just how much Taben seems to be owned by Slendy. It's kind of... scary to see. Taben was always the one that was defiant about being controlled. I remember one of the arguments Taben and Ry got into dealt with the fact that Ry was trying to control the way Taben scheduled classes in college.  Now when Slendy shows up, Taben has this look on his face. It's excitement, but it just doesn't seem genuine. I can't feel his emotions or speak with him anymore so I'm not sure how he truly feels about it. He says he doesn't mind and he kind of enjoys it. So. I dunno.

Allen's spending the weekend with Taben's mom. She was kind enough to ta him so that Taben could figure out what to do about one thing or another. Taben's going through Ry's stuff and debating on what needs to bee kept and tossed. We're working on cleaning up the room that was Taben and Ry's and moving Taben's stuff into our room. I dunno how Taben's really taking things honestly. He's so closed up so often that it's hard to tell.  He's not one to openly throw out his emotions at you. So it's just a matter of keeping my eyes open and making sure he's well. Thankfully he and Malkin have been getting along really well and I'm thankful he's got the extra support with him here. Malkin's a really great guy. I just wish there were more we could do with Chastin who's just a big hardheaded dorkus. We'll see. Something may come up yet.

Anyways, I need too go. I'm due to work with Alex/Todd to help him with his abilities. At least I still have him as volunteer help. Kinda miss having Taben there as well, but I know Taben' still there for me no matter what. Just miss the closeness I guess.

Grand Finale

Grand Finale my fucking ass. I wonder how long It's been planning this bullshit. This is just fucking ridiculous and I'm sick of this shit happening on my property. There was a fucking truce made. A TRUCE dammit. I guess it goes to show truces mean nothing to faceless eldritch abominations.

I'm sick of fucking tragedy. I'm pissed that I have to tell you about another tragedy, but at least I get to tell you about the tragedy that did NOT happen.

So as you all know we've been having a nice long Independence Day weekend party. Something that's much needed. Something we all needed. Especially Taben. I was surprised when he showed up with Mateo but I wasn't going to argue. Taben had a lot of needed support from him. And hell there was a hell of a lot more fireworks with him bringing his bunch of boomies along. It made for one hell of a display. Neighbors were coming to watch, we had a cop come and make the comment that we had one of the best displays yet and to carry on and not disappoint the audience.

So we carried on. I figured with all the spectators that nothing would happen. We had a hell of a hopping party. neighbors from around the block showed up and joined in the festivities and came to watch the show. It lasted for about an hour and a half. Then Mat brought out the big guns. A 200 shot repeater called the "Grand Finale" Mat shot it off and it started going. near the end it got close together and the light was constant on all of us on the ground and in the forest. And that's when I saw It... and a gang of Its groupies with weapons snaking out of the woods. The cawing and creeling of one of them as they ran out. I saw the feathers. A Crow mask. Red and Black. Morrigan. They rushed out in a wave. It ran for myself and Taben then diverted it attention as Morrigan ran up to spectators that had come. A child. A freakin' child. That was her first victim. First fucking victim. Then the child's mother then she started laughing this horrid laugh. Her weapon? A bat. A fucking baseball bat. Likely the one she killed rat with. She charged after one person then another. I lost track of her when I heard Taben screeching in anger. It had turned on Mateo. Mateo... my gods Mateo. Why him? Why Mateo? All I saw was the blood and the entrails and the body dripping in a tree. Allen was screaming and he got angry. When that child gets angry you need to get out of the way. Allen started charging It with a stick. It tried to grab him. I saw the jagged tentacles of the bastard grab Allen then it dropped him as Taben jumped on and attacked It. And then Slendy appeared and helped Taben. There was a screech from it and there were explosions and then everything went dark and there were gunshots and, I don't even know. I lost sight of most everything aside from the battle between Slendy and It. Slendy was pissed. It wen for Allen. It wanted to kill Allen. Next thing I know someone had jumped on me and was attacking me. I was fighting them off. I think I threw them off. I've no idea how but I did. I was so angry. I could feel it. Fell them. I hate them. They make me feel so inhuman. Tendrils of darkness. The one thing I hate so much that ties me to Him and It. I hate it. I hate it so much. Hate them. Someone else was on me. Got me from behind. I remember seeing a bright light and my head hurting. Next thing I know I wake up in an ambulance being looked over by an EMT. The cops had been driving by and had seen what was going on and stopped. Two of the people had been gunned down. Two of It's minions dead and out of the race. Though we all know more will come back.

Due to all the issues we'd been having and the fact that everyone in the household is gay or gay friendly.... well the cops are treating all of this like a hate crime. They're swearing up and down there's a gang here that's just out to kill/rid the world of gays. As much as I hate to say it, I wish it were just that simple. I wish that were really the case.

It'd be so much easier to face problems with hate crimes than what I'm really handling. Now our July 4th celebration is just... nothing. It's turned into a crime scene. Over a dozen people dead. Matty one of them. Taben's... different from this one. He's pissed. Angry. He seems so dark. I can't even feel him. Though, now I know why. He's no longer what he was to me. He belongs to Slender Man now. I can't help but feel uneasy about that. It's worrisome. I feel helpless. But then again, maybe it was a worthy sacrifice.

Chastin, Malkin, you're safe now. And under my protection. I declare that right now. You're not longer Slender Man's prey.  I... guess in some freakish way... you're mine now...

I'm sorry. For everything.

I'm going to get the fuck off here and go and tend to everyone. Bran and her crew. My Gods. No one should ever have to see what they saw. And now.. now they're in the police interest again.

I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry I have you all stuck in this mess. It's unfair. So unfair.

And I'm sorry that you all have to see and deal with the stench that's me.... these fucking tendrils. They've never dripped this black ooze like this before. I have no clue what it is. I just.. want to chop them all off and be rid of them. I don't fucking want this anymore. I don't want to be this thing. I want to be normal. Jut a normal human being. That's all I want to be.

Let's get this party started!

Been talking on and off with Malkin about some concerns he's had. Been keeping an eye on Chastin as well. We're hoping he'll be awake to see the celebration and see how laid back and how much fun we're all having. Maybe the sense of normalcy will help him feel better and more comfortable. We can hope, right? Also spoke with Slenderp to clear stuff up. We're keeping a perimeter up around the house. We'll know as soon as somone we don't want crosses over to inside. I'm trying to get him to work with us instead of against us. We all hate ///It/// so we need to work together before we loose anyone else. I hate myself still. So long ago I had thought of forcefully turning Ryan, but I didn't. I didn't want to betray my trust with him or the trust I had with Taben. Now... I wish I'd know. I'd have been able to keep him from running off. Too late now. I just hope I can overcome the guilt I have from that.

Haha! Sam and Dean just ran outside with water guns and are attacking Allen and Taben. The happy screams of laughter is a really nice sound to hear. Pffft What the fuck am I doing in here. I'm off to have fun with everyone else. We'll see everyone as they get here. To everyone else, don't expect much from us. We're gonna be having some fun. We all really need it after the week we had.

Stay safe, eyes open.

~Ai

On the mend?

It was late last night, but Taben came from his room and came down to eat. I was doing some chores in the kitchen when he came down. He was hungry. I made him food and we sat and talked for a while. I want to than Xirena for talking sense into him. He really needed it. He realizes he's got all of us here for him. And I've told him we're going to have a very nice Forth of July party with all our friends. And we're going to make a cake for him. We know he'd enjoy it and all. We want to do things for him. He was happy with that, and then asked to sleep in with me and Brennon. Brennon said it was fine so we've got three in our room now. Which is fine I think. Thank goodness for us having a king bed. We're gonna work on switching things around and getting Taben into our room. Doing this will open up a master bedroom that we can give to Chas and Malkin if they want it. I wouldn't admit it outright to them but I'd not mind having more roomates. But then I know that Malkin's in college and stuff so.. yeah. I dunno. I'm just rambling now.

Things have been busy and we've been doing a lot secretly behind the scenes. We did inform the authorities. They've been doing full searches through the woods. It was a big surprise to us when they actually found someone that was all gunned u and looked like he could have done it. We were even more surprised when the person admitted to it. We'd never seen them in our lives. But the cops said it'd be a quick convict, little court time and a big happy settlement or some jazz. I don't know court stuff much. I'm just happy something's being done for Taben. We're trying to throw together a quick plan for a wake. We had to get the obituary made, thankfully with Brennon working in the whole working at the newspaper business, it was easy enough to do. We've informed those of Ryan's family we could contact, but his mom is really hard to get a hold of. and we didn't have his brother and sister's number. Add in we don't know if we should contact his father at all. There was an extreme falling out there where his father went off on Taben and Ryan dismissed his father from his life. We don't need that being pushed on Taben. It's bad enough already that Ry's mom, who hates Taben is going to be coming. We've set a date for a wake/funeral to be after the 4th when travel will be cheaper and easier on everyone. It's just been hell. But things are on the mend. Taben's waking up and getting active. He's been spending a lot of time with Allen trying to explain to Allen what happened and where Daddy is. Allen's been asking fr Daddy and not taking our answers as truth. Hearing it strait from his mom's mouth helped. Though now we have a very sad little boy. Maybe Ry realizes now how much that little boy loves him.

Well, I think I'll stop there. I need to get to work on house chores. Then Taben and I are going to head out on errands. We're gonna get some boomies for the fourth then get some groceries and just enjoy some time out. Taben needs out of the house and back into nature. He's so at home there, I'm hoping a walk in the park will help him.

I want to thank everyone for the continued support. It means the world to us. We just don't know how to handle things. I think we're getting better but, we're still missing someone from the family. Someone that meant the world to us.

Even so, we're slowly, on the mend.

Stay safe everyone. Lots of love. and eyes open.