Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Fuckin Finally

I figured it out. I got him. I got Mal. I grabbed hi ass and got the fuck out of there. I think he was just about to go into that castle. That would ave been horrible bad. Horribly HORRIBLY bad. But I got him, I grabbed him and brought him back.

We got back and, and Chastin was here. I was... well I'm still confused. At least he's back?

One thing that I'm concerned about is... well, my staying power. It's been what, three days? I lost count. Neither of us have slept. At all. And yet we're still wide awake and fine. Like nothing happened. Only something did happen. It's like a giant nightmare happened.

I'm afraid. Da said He didn't switch Malkin with Taben, He hadn't gotten control of Malkin like He wanted. He seemed upset that I seemed to get control of him. But I didn't do anything. I didn't want to do that to him. At all. I wouldn't have done anything like that. Never, not without asking him. But that leave the question.

How the hell did I gain control of him. I feel like.... I just feel like I betrayed him. I don't know how it happened. I didn't want it to happen. I'm just, going to try and ignore it for now. At least we should all be safe for now. Da seems pissed that I got Malkin so easily. But then that goes back to me not even knowing how. I just... did.  Oh and look I was thinking. three days straight. I didn't sleep. THREE. DAYS. STRAIGHT. And I'm not tiered in the slightest. I'm ready to take on the new day. No desire to sleep at all.

I hate this. I don't want to be... this. But here I am. I'm.. this. That place made me feel funny too. I could feel my tendrils. I must have scare the shit outta Mal at first. it's so dark and all you see is silhouettes at first. Seeing some creepy thing with tendrils coming towards him not knowing what it was. At least I was calling to him. Or I thought I was. I don't remember speaking but I remember saying his name, and then him answering me.

I'm just so confused and uncertain and just... lost. I don't want to become this... thing. But.. at the same time, maybe it's alright? Maybe I can make this work. I can save people. I dunno. All I know is I want to just cuddle up with Brennon or Taben or someone and just... let this all pass and go away.

Only time will tell I suppose. I'm off. I'm starving. At least that part of me is still human. Seems holding onto my humanity is becoming a hard thing to do. Need to go with what I have and be thankful I still have it.

2 comments:

  1. I don't blame you for it, Ai. I was afraid that It had taken me, after all. It's a relief to know that it's you and not It. Hell, it would have been a relief if it had ended up being slendy as long as it's not It.

    I think you took me involuntarily. I can't really say when it happened, but it probably happened at some point when I was in danger. You and I had already discussed this before so maybe it was the first thing your subconscious could think of to do.

    The tendrils of darkness did not scare the shit out of me by the way. In that place my senses were heightened and I knew it was you coming.

    Thanks for saving me...

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  2. By the way, I'm pretty sure we're all fine and not sleepy because time doesn't pass normally in that place.

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